Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A reflection

I finally had a good nights sleep. I woke up at 7:30 so I could take my mother in law to work. She is having some issues with her car , so Sally told me to take her mom to work. When I got to her house she said that she thinks the car will be OK and that she will drive herself. So I thought that since I was up and ready for the day I would go and say my daily prayers and go to mass at St. James. When I left, the song Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin came on the radio. I think that it is one of the best meaningful songs ever. I started to think again about what could have been if I didn't get this misunderstood illness called cancer. The guy in the song wasn't around for his son just like I wasn't there that often for my kids. I was always working and working allot of overtime at the time with the exception I didn't travel. Although I was suppose to go to Italy to see our new machine run before they shipped it back to us., but because the company that was building our machine was having some money issues and we were afraid we may lose the machine , Avery did the smart thing and just had it shipped to us. Well anyway back to my reflection. I call cancer in my case anyway the misunderstood illness cause I believe when I was first diagnose with it I was thinking what did I do , why is this happening to me, I have small kids and one not so small.Yes, I was thinking I have a family that I love. I work my ass off at work, while working allot of overtime to help get these bills paid and be able to have some of the other annuities. It took me almost 2 months to really realize that I am a dumb ass. It was around the time of the benefit when I thought that God has a plan for me and that everything will be just fine( as long as I stop eating garbage).All the people that came out to support myself and my family on that cold rain soaked day in March really told me that I wasn't insignificant. That people really cared and allot of them didn't know me at all.I still think back to that day with total amazement. That is why I know for a fact that you can receive just about anything if your not a knucklehead. God gives everyone life lessons and if you don't learn from them you will get another and another until you fix yourself or die. I think God knew that in me and it definitely changed me forever.If cancer doesn't change you than your gonna die for sure. God won't hand anything to you ,and you will have to believe , have faith and change what needs to change.Don't think because you may say a few prayers and go to church every week that that is all you need to do. Going through the motions won't cut it. That is why when I see people in church talking I get a little flustered.God deserves your undivided attention. I also like to think positive about everything. No matter how gloomy things may look I will still think everything will be OK. I always know that God will not give me more than what I can handle. It may get very hairy at times but, having great family and friends at your side always helps out.Life is a constant learning experience, so learn from it. I am not perfect, not by a long shot. I just know that I needed to change. I still have some things to work on but , I have confidence I will get to were I need to be. If not ooooohhhh boy!

Last night Sally and I watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. It was a 2.48 hour movie. I think this is why I left good last night. I have no idea what I just missed.That is all I am going to say about that. Tonight the family and I are going to Central park in Griffith for a showing of Hotel for Dogs. We already saw it but this is something nice to do with the kids that they will remember.( my lesson from the above reflection-- it's all about the memories that are kid friendly).Hopefully someone will do something goofy and I will have new story to tell. We are going with our neighbors so it should be fun.

Zach told me yesterday that he is looking for someone to be his female Indiana Jones partner. The neighbor girl didn't want to do it anymore. So if any female out there(preferably about 8-9 years old,if older we can talk) who likes to argue and constantly bicker with men( isn't that usually most women. Just kidding no letters please) please respond to this post stating your interest in the Indiana Jones Female partner search. Zach thanks you in advance.

Thank you for visiting and God Bless.

14 comments:

  1. i better stop talking in church huh?

    bill, seriously....you are extremely insightful and i am inclined to agree with much of what you have so eloquently stated here in this blog today!
    in my humble opinion i think that God is really very proud of you! you have taken this illness and turned it into a life changing lesson!
    i applaud you and i continue to keep you close in prayer!
    blessings for always..deb:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did not tell Bill he had to take my mom to work. I was going to. I like how he makes me look like a pushy wife. Then again I have to be a push wife at times being married to him :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The talking in church isn't a dig at anybody in paticular. I know that I do it to. It's when people carry on conversations during the actual mass.

    The comment sally wrote is not true. She is a war monger, battle axe I tell you, don't believe her.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Whatever Bill will also say he had to walk 5 miles to school in a snowstorm without shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It was 6 miles and I did have shoes. They were just to small and had holes in them.

    ReplyDelete
  6. and it was uphill both ways!

    you two are extemely entertaining! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. And after that long walk home up hill in holy shoes you had to come home and shovel coal for heat right? Plus you had to hurry up and get your homework done (never mind you didn't do your homework) before it got dark because the only light you had was from your oil lantern.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ummmmmmmmm HELLO!
    he didn't have time to do homework he was the only one who could work so he had to go to work right after school! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I forgot about his job. Yes, he had to work long hours after school in order to help him family. He was paid 5 cents a week which all of it when to his mom to help buy groceries.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes,doing all this and still able to learn how to spell properly and don't forget my nap time and ballet lessons. Bill

    ReplyDelete
  11. you took ballet? i mean nap time doesn't surprise me but ballet? really? how sweet :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. No it wasn't ballet silly. You took tap lessons and liked to practice in the puddles. You didn't need a set time for naps because you slept your way though school. Silly Bill getting his facts messed up once again.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Naps was only during algebra and sometimes English if I didn't get enough. Tap was during my crazy elementary years. Ballet was later to teach me coordination that I still lack. I liked the feel of the leotards also.

    ReplyDelete
  14. do u still get this if i post it on an old blog?

    ReplyDelete