Tuesday, June 9, 2009

If my eyes are closed forever.

I know that I am sounding like a pessimist. I usually try to be an optimist but right now I am going to be more of a realist. I know that I have been receiving a whole heck of a lot of support and prayers but, there is no guarantees. So that is why I feel it is important to let all of you know how important you are to me and my family.

My brothers Mike(Leann) and Dave(Sara) sisters Dawn(Dave),Carolyn(John) and Lisa(Dave) Including the wives and husbands. All of you have been there for me at the beginner to help me cope with this very serious illness and throughout my life. I want you all to know just how much I love each and everyone of you. I love you all the same, so Mike just because your name is first doesn't mean I love you more I want to make that perfectly clear. I would have liked to say this in person or over the phone but I really don't think you will understand what I am saying. There isn't any thing I wouldn't do for any of you If I could. Let all of the kids to know that I love them.

My sisters and brothers in law Susie(Jim),Sandy(free- any takers)and Stacie(Tom) I want you all to know how much you all have meant to me during the 14 years I have known you all.(Sandy and Stacie a little longer) You all have been good to my family during these rough times. I love all of you too, equally as well. Tell all of yours kids that I love them as well.

My Mom and Dad Yolanda and Frank and Mother in law Mary. I want you all to know that you are very important people to me.All three of you have helped mold me to who I am today.( an old man with cancer,just kidding)I know that I haven't been the best son and husband but I did try my best. I hope the memories are all good. I love each and everyone of you. Thank you for everything.

My kids Michael,Zachary and Kaitlyn. I hope you all know that I love you all very much. Michael I know that someday you will be great lawyer. It won't be easy but , I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. Zachary I know that you could be a great race car driver if that is what you still want to do in another 15 years or so. I know you both will be outstanding young adults.I hope that I played a role in that.Kaity my little girl. I love your kissies. I know that someday when you get married you will be the boss of the house like you are now. I know that I wasn't the best Dad but, I did want the best for all of you. Michael you need to understand what your mother is going through and how things will change. It's not all about her. It's always been about you and the kids and then me. Not only will Mom need you but, so will the kids.

All my old friends and the new ones and other family members. There are so many of you that I can't even begin to mention all of you without forgetting somebody. I love you all and wish the best for you. Thank you for the prayers and kind words of encouragement. God Bless you all.

Sally my wife who is one of the most important people to me. There isn't any words that can properly express how I feel about you and how much of a impact you have made on me. I love you now and forever. I know we have had some dips in the road but we learned from them and our marriage got better. We have had a very unique marriage with a lot of laughter. Usually we always laughed with each other and not at each other. We have had some sad moments but, it always made us better.I love you sweetheart.

I hope if something does happen to me that no one forgets Sally. She isn't one to make calls. So I hope that she can count on some check up phone calls once in a while. She is my wife and I care about her as much as anyone can.

Patrick,Eli,Cloe, Evan and Rachel I hope you all have long and fulfilling lives. I love all of you.

Jacqueline and Joseph I hope you have a very long and prosperous marriage.
Nathan,Matthew,Nicole,Stephanie, Elliott, Noah,Bekka and Holly I hope you all have long and fulfilling lives . I love all of you too.

I know that this isn't what everyone expected. I just didn't want something to happen without expressing some of my thoughts. I really am thinking very positive but like I said earlier there are no guarantees. So I felt like this is what I needed to do. So thank you for visiting and love you all.

Hopefully in a week or so I will be back to telling stories, Stay tuned.


  1. .....i'll be RIGHT HERE waiting for the stories next week

    until then, God Bless!

    CUBS ARE WINNING...so will you!

  2. I really am bad at leaving comments

    Bill will you be fine.
    Mean don't die.
    Love you forever honey.

  3. I look forward to hearing your blogs next week :)

    Maybe this will be the Cubs' year ;) If Sally and your kids can't motivate you enough to pull through, at least the Cubbies can! Jk. It's ok to be scared, and nothing wrong with putting all this out in the open. If there is anything I've learned yet from life (I know, lots more to learn yet), it's that things, good or bad, happen for a reason, so there is never really anything bad in life. It only seems bad because we can't see the rest of the path it leads us down yet, but when it comes into view, you see how everything fits together just right and this isn't a thing you'd want to change, otherwise you might have ended up somewhere else!