Our Trip to Disney Day 1

We had a 6:30 am flight to Orlando Florida.  The night before the kids were all excited and had a hard time falling asleep.  Sally still had all the packing to do. It was after 10pm and we just got the kids to settle down and into their beds.  I was going to help Sally pack but she insisted I go to bed.  Reluctantly but gladly, I took a shower and went to bed. The limo was scheduled to arrive at 4am.  3am I woke up to a knock on the door.  Sally was in the shower and the limo had already showed up.  All the luggage was ready to go all we had to do was get dressed and jump into the hummer.  I was still very tired.  Michael went to sleep an hour before I woke him up and Sally didn't have a chance to go to bed.  The little ones had less than 5 hours of sleep. I expected them to be two little bears but they were the opposite.  Kaity smiled the entire ride to the airport.  

Our travel agent, Tess, was aware of my illness.  She kept in touch with Sally and Michael during the planning of the trip.  She had arranged a wheel chair for every time I was to enter to an  airport.  I wasn't thrilled at first.  I was told I wouldn't have to wait in lines at the airports and could board the plane faster so I agreed.  When I arrived at Midway, all I had to do was sit down on the wheel chair and everything else was done. All the baggage was carried up for us.  An escort took us through security and up to the terminal.  It didn't take very long at all.  In fact, Sally and the kids had a hard time keeping up with me.  Kaity fell a couple of times.  She fell at least a dozen times by the end of the day.  


The airplane ride went well.  There was some minor turbulence near the end but it wasn't much.  I sat next to Zach and was able to sleep a little. Zach slept as well.  The rest of the gang sat together.  Sally said Kaity was awake the entire time talking.  She loved the plane ride.  The boys not so much though.  Michael was trying to convince us to rent a car to return home.


By the time we arrived at the hotel, us 3 older ones were running on empty.  We decided to rest for a bit before we did anything. Kaity was still running and didn't want to rest.  She kept bothering Sally. Later we attended Chef Mickey's Backyard Barbecue.   The dinner was buffet style.  We had ribs, chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, baked beans, water melon  corn bread, corn on the cob and Mickey Mouse ice cream bars.  The entertainment was in hoe down style. Mickey Mouse and some of his gang were there as well.  Kaity loved dancing around but Zach was to shy. Unfortunately, I started to feel bad right before we got there.  I continue to feel progressively worse. Sally and Zach left with me and Michael stayed with Kaity until the end since she was having a blast.  I felt sad for having to leave early but when I found out it took Michael and Kaity almost 2 hours to get back to the hotel, I didn't feel so bad.  


Here our pictures from the barbecue party.

 That's my girl a double fister.

Happy Thanksgiving

I like Thanksgiving because it's the time when everyone reflects on what they are thankful for.  We take so much for granted and do not always realize what we have until it is taken away.  I am thankful for so much.  However being ill, I often think how lucky I am for my life, the people in it and what I have.  I noticed it seems the more people have the more they want.  I think it's sad in a way they are not happy with what they have.  They always want something that is bigger, better, flashier or newer.  I have notice the people who struggle, are often the ones that are grateful for what they have.  They seem to be more content and happier in life.  It's just my observation and I am not saying everyone is like that.  It seem the majority of people I come across are that way though. In a way, I think it's more of a blessing to have less then it is to have more.


My family asked me today what I am thankful for.  Of course I could go on and on but the thing I said was "I am thankful  for being alive".  Sally replied "Isn't that a curse?".  I hope she meant it because of how I have been feeling and everything I am going through.  I hope she didn't mean she is being cursed because I am still here being a thorn in her side.  Even with everything I am going through and even on my worse days, I am thankful to be here and doing as well as I am doing.  Things could always be worse.


Today our Thanksgiving day didn't go as planned.  The original plans were to go with my mother in law to the soup kitchen and help.  Afterwards, we were going to go her house and make Thanksgiving dinner. Mary ended up sick.  So we decided to postpone dinner until she is feeling better.  We wanted to make sure she was able to enjoy it.  Sally and I decided we would go to our church and partake in their community dinner.  We never ate there before but we volunteered a couple of times and Sally usually sends a couple of  dishes and a carved turkey there. 


This year it seemed a little weird to go there and be on the receiving end but I was actually looking forward to it.   The parking lot didn't seem very crowded so I was happy.  When we walked into the door we were greeted and a lady gave us name tags.  I was signing in and I heard the boys laughing and Kaity crying.  I turned around to see what was going on.  Kaity was wearing a name tag that read "Kiki".  The boys were calling Kaity  Kiki as they were laughing.  I couldn't help but laugh but she was devastated.  Sally went to get a new name tag for her and the lady apologized to Kaity. Then it was time to find a table. Well.... all the tables were occupied. There was one table that only had 2 people sitting at it. It were two men and they looked like they were homeless. Sally said "no".  I told her that wasn't the Christian thing to do.  She said she was worried about the kids.  The guys did look a little scary and I could just imagine  what the little ones would do. The only thing left to do was to separate but Sally said it's a holiday and we need to be together.  So we left. Yes, it was the holiday but, she was judging.


We get back to the car and started driving around looking for an open place to eat at.  The boys didn't seem to mind.  They were still making "Kiki" jokes and being entertained by making their little sister cry.  We ended up at Bakers Square. It wasn't what I had in mind.  But I did have a turkey sandwich.  I spent the rest of the day relaxing and playing G.I. Joes with Zach.  

So it wasn't our typical Thanksgiving but I am sure it's one the kids will not forget.  I still have a Thanksgiving dinner to look forward to.  Hopefully this weekend.  


Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.  I am also thankful for everyone who has been praying for me and supporting me.  


God Bless,
Bill

The Truth Is......only the facts

The truth is, I would rather write funny post then serious ones.
The truth is, my good day is equivalent to I am not feeling well days from the past.
The truth is, I don't think I will ever feel good ever again.
The truth is, I fear my bad day now might be my good in the the future.
The truth is, I would rather be working then being home all day.
The truth is, I took living and good health for granted.
The truth is, I don't like all the paper work I  have stacked up for me to fill out.
The truth is, I am waiting for Sally to do the paper work for me.
The truth is, I like to drive alone in the car and blast the music,this way I don't have to think to much.
The truth is, I have ugly feet and stabbed Sally with my toe nail. That was quite funny at the time.
The truth is, I love the music of the 70's. You have a problem with that?
The truth is, I still like to listen to Hard Rock music.
The truth is, Sally plays Angry Birds even though she claims it's a dumb game.
The truth is, Sally is still playing Angry Birds three hours later after complaining how stupid the game is.
The truth is, I love using Purex Crystals when I am doing laundry. I like doing laundry,Problem?
The truth is, I have been doing more laundry then my wife does, in my sleep.
The truth is, I like to make weird noises when people aren't looking.Sometimes even when they are.
The truth is, I want a home  make over while I am in Disney (I can still dream)
The truth is, I have to be facing the door when I eat at a restaurant. I want to be the first to see the shooter.
The truth is, I wish I wrote more post. Don't have time like I wished I had.
The truth is, it's hard to write when I don't feel good.
The truth is, I still hold my wife's hand.Need I say more.
The truth is, I like to mix mashed potatoes and corn together. Like pea and carrots.
The truth is, I like Scrambled Eggs mixed with Ketchup. nothing like it
The truth is, I like Parmesan Cheese mixed with popcorn isn't bad either.
The truth is, I like to make Christmas cookies. all kinds
The truth is, I cried watching Toy Story Three. PLEASE, keep this to yourself.
The truth is, I wear boxer briefs. sometimes nothing at all.
The truth is, I ate most of Zach's Easter candy one year and Christmas and Halloween ect.
The truth is, when I admit wrong doing, it's because I don't want Sally to know she isn't perfect. It might devastate her.
The truth is, I like the luncheon meat Spam and Treet,
The truth is, When Sally burps it is one of the most terrifying sounds I will ever hear.
The truth is, I enjoy conversations with myself rather than with others.
The truth is, Sally has conversations with herself because I don't normally hear her..
The truth is, I am more fascinated with Zach's turtles and they are fascinated with me as well.
The truth is, I like to make Sally mad.  She looks funny when she is mad. Don't do it that much though.
The truth is, I really like to antagonize my kids and anybody else s kids too.
The truth is, I will stare at my kids as they talk to me and not hear a thing half the time.
The truth is, The Cubs will always be better than the Sox. No matter how bad the Cubs are.
The truth is, I like to shop at Bath and Body Works. I like to smell good.
The truth is, I love to read books and devastated when Borders closed.
The truth is, I don't like the way Caillou talks.
The truth is, When I proposed to Sally and she said "yes" I was surprised.
The truth is, Sally and I on dates would sit outside of bars and laugh at the people going in.
The truth is , Sally beat me at darts once and I mean only ONCE!
The truth is, I was on a dart league for a bar named Piggy's
The truth is, I think The Dick Van Dyke show was the best sitcom ever.
The truth is, I wonder why contestants on Dancing with the Stars are called stars.
The truth is, I fear being forgotten by friends and family
The truth is, It took me over a month to do this somewhat easy blog.

The Ugly Part 2

I usually don't have a problem telling how I feel or what I go through physically.  I do however, have a  hard time talking about the financial aspect.  I fear if I express myself freely people would think I am asking for handouts or they may feel obligated to help.  Which is not what I want.  So, I usually try to re-frame from talking about our fiances.  I realized I am not being honest in not sharing.  Since, I said from the very beginning I will share everything I am going through.  Hiding the fact that cancer had made me bankrupt is one of the common realities with some of us people who are fighting cancer.


Tonight, as I am writing this I find myself cautiously convening my thoughts and carefully choosing my words.  I find it more embarrassing that I am not able to afford being sick then the fact I have colon cancer.  It seems like lately the financial part of it has been consuming more of my time then my cancer itself has. When I was first diagnosed, almost 3 years ago, I had HMO. Paying for my treatments and medication was not that difficult.  The next 2 years, HMO went away and I had to choose a  different insurance provider.  The premiums went up a lot.  As well as the co-payments and medication.  With the switch, I am now required to pay additional  co-payments for chemo treatments and a $250 co-payment for each procedure. Plus there is no cap on out of pocket expenses.  This year I had several procedures which all added up.  Now the diabetes and because of that I have an additional $200 a month for medication and supplies


Sally and I tried for months to spend wisely. But yet, we did splurge some on taking our kids places to make memories for them.  The holidays we have been doing a little extra, in case it's their last one with me. I want them to remember it especially.  


To be honest, Sally was the one in charge of all the bills.  She made the payments and kept track of all of that.  She 95% of the time she would tell me we are fine.  I found out later she did a lot of juggling to keep me from worrying. When I was working it was easy for her to keep up the pa sod.  Now that I am home. she can't hide it. I hear all the phone calls now.  I knew it would be a struggle to be on disability leave.  Sally assures me it will get easier.  In the mean time it is very frustrating for me.  I went to file for bankruptcy. I   was able to scrape of enough to pay it in full.  However, I can not file bankruptcy until we are current on our morgage.  I went to take money out of the 401K.  However, I can't unless the house is in foreclosure and that is only for the amount we need to get the house out of foreclosure.  Then I was told if I get a letter from the IRS to prove I am perminately disable I can withdraw the entire 401K.  So I applied for social security.  If I am approved I won't be able to start collecting until March. My concern now is getting the approval letter so I can get the 401K.  So now I am waiting for the letter.  Hoping the letter comes sooner then later. 
 


In the mean time we are struggling to keep our utilities, feeding the kids, and paying for my medical.  And not to mention the phones constant rings because people want their money.  I don't answer because I have no clue what is going on.  About a month ago Sally applied for food stamps.  It is a slow process. She faxed in all the information and it waiting for an answer.  She was told today it may take up to 4 weeks for an approval.  Sally said she thinks we will get denied because of the 401K I have that I can not touch.  In a way it's almost comical.  She did contact a couple of agencies for help.  We are waiting to see if they will contact us.  There is so much paper work involved in all of this.  It takes hours to fill it all out and gather all the information for each time we try to get help.


The worse part of it all is the kids.  It's upsetting when you are not able to provide for them and give them everything they need and a little of what they want just to be able to be just a kid. We were not able to sign them up for soccer.  They were both disappointed but we could not afford it. We cut back on everything we possibly can.  Except for the internet, but to me it's more of a need,.  Then there are the kids' speech therapy, Kaity's pre-school, and her dance lessons. They can live without it, but it's important for them to continue.  It feels like we have to agonize about every penny that is spent.  I now know how hard it must have been for my mom to raise 4 kids on a waitress salary.


A couple days a go we were on our way to an oncologist appointment.  I was driving on the express way and another car hit us.  The guy that hit us didn't stop and he was going to fast we couldn't get his licence plate or a good description for the car.  There is a nice dent in the front fender.  We decided not to file a police report because we feared our insurance would go up.  Lord knows we can't afford paying more.  Plus, I couldn't afford to fork out the deductible.  Maybe in the distant future, I can have the dent pop out.


Sally doesn't complain with what is going on.  She still manages to find things to make for dinner.  As long as she has a bag of flour she said she can always figure out something to make.  I know she feels bad that she can't buy Kaity dresses for the winter. She always tells me we will be OK.  But whenever we talk about going to Disney and Christmas I can tell she is worried. She has been fighting a lot of head aches lately and stomach issues. I think it's due to stress.  To be honest, I do worry about our fiances but I do not lose sleep over it.  God has always taken care of us and I know He will continue.  


Like I said from the beginning.  I am not asking for, hinting, or wanting help. I feel like a fraud keeping this part of my life hidden.  Especially, since I have been open about my illness.  This is another aspect of my life due to my illness.  No ones plans on being this ill for this length of time.  I shouldn't be embarrass because of my predicament but I am.I am hoping someone else who is battling an illness reads this and realizes they are not alone.  I will get through this and so will they.


I don't want people to feel uncomfortable from asking about how we are doing. It is still nice hearing from all of you that care and are making this life lesson easier to cope with. All we need are the prayers and we will be fine.Love ya all.     

Weekly Update

Chemo is kicking me in the rump.  Yes, it's a blunt statement but there is no other way to describe it.  I had chemo (today) Wednesday and it's been down hill ever since.  I am hoping this cycle will end quickly.  I have been blessed in the past with very little side effects from the treatments but it feels like I am making it up with the last two infusions I had.  I have been dealing with nausea, stomach cramping, and some vomiting.  Oh yeah, tiredness as well these past few treatments. If I could I would sleep my life away. It's really getting hard for me to deal with lately. I have always had jobs that I worked hard at and did well and  moved up the ladder frequently.

My first job was at Dog N Suds in Highland at age 15  as a Freshman at Bishop Noll. By 17 I was a manager.I than applied at Shakey's. I was only making 2.40 at Dog N Suds and had to look for better pastures. I  got a job at Shakey's and Dog N Suds closed shortly after (coincidence)  I worked 2 and a half hours( not days) and quit Shakey's cause the manager there said I walk to slow. I was are you kidding me. I am new and learning the job and already on my case. I felt I should have gotten a better chance. So I cut my losses and left. By the way Sally can walk faster than me, so never judge somebody by how fast they walk.(shortly after they closed coincidence, I think not). I than started delivering papers for awhile. I had about 20 papers to deliver and had to walk about 2 miles to get to my route. I earned about 15 dollars every two weeks. I quit just after Christmas and made a lot of money in Christmas bonuses. I had the paper delivered by 7am every morning and in the mail boxes or doors. I would get letters from customer saying how they missed me. The company that I was working for wanted me to train my replacement. I was thinking I never got trained so I had to decline.That company isn't around anymore either. Now its getting weird.  I got a job at Sterk's Super Foods(Sibley Blvd in Hammond) from a friend. I started out as a bagger a few months later stocker a few months after night crew stocker......night crew chief(lead stocker)......Dairy foods manager with store manager resposibilities(opening-closing the store as well as running the store) Later on got Frozen foods added.I was transferred to the Columbus Dr, East Chicago store. Had the same jobs with a little more store management duties.I had to finally look for another job cause I was only making about $9.00 an hour.I really hated to do it cause I did like the job. It wasn't the store managers fault. The owner was very cheap and didn't compensate his employees the way he should have. I won't mention his name though. Needless to say both those stores are now closed or bought out,ummmm. I got a job at the dairy that supplied us. I started as a by products stacker-gallon and quart fillers machine operator-load out crew and a load out foreman. I decided to get off the load out crew because of personnel problems on the other shift that I had no control over. After word got out I was looking for another job business started to slow down drastically until it closed on Halloween,double ummm. After taking a few months off during Christmas time,I started looking hard for job. Avery had a add that I jumped at. I investigated what they did so if I got an interview I would know what to say about them to make me more knowledge savy besides the obvious questions. I got a call after applying twice. The funny thing Is my mother in law said I will get a job in March cause that is St Josephs feast month who is the patron saint of Fathers,Husbands and Workers ect.Sure enough got a call on March 3rd and started working on the 7th or 8th. I had a lot of different jobs there as well finally having to go on disability and being a lead operator.I always liked the challenge of being in charge.

Leaving Avery was very very hard for me. One of the hardest decisions I had to make.That is where I stand now. I liked being in the work force and I miss it tremendously. This not to say that being home with my family is bad, it's great. It's just now I feel like nothing and not being able to support my family the way I should. I am going to stop there because of how long this is getting. I will have a part 2 tomorrow to mention more about what the rest of the family is dealing with. God Bless you all and thank you for taking half your day to read this.

Oooooohhhh that Zach

Not sure how I should say this.  Not sure if I should say this.  What should I do?   It's been my dilemma ever since a few  nights ago. That  night, Sally was checking the history on the computer.  I think she was checking up on me.  She denied it of course.  What she stumbled upon.........  Left us scratching our heads and rubbing our eye balls.  She looked at me and said "What the Heck!".(the pg version of what she really said).   She looked at me and I looked at her and before she had a chance to say anymore I had to say "It wasn't me".  Really it isn't me.  After we took a few minutes to soak it all in we clicked on one of the links.  Then we had a laugh.  It's very disturbing and mind bottling. It's amazing what people think to look up on the inter net.  It's puzzling how a child of mine would think of such a bizarre thing to look at. Wait a minute I can see that.  We presumed it was a child.  I do not think Sally would be interested in it and I most defiantly would not care to see.  There was at least 30 YouTube videos on the same theme.  Not sure how to describe it. So I guess the best thing to do is to show you.  I must warn you the following videos are disturbing.  It's more disturbing to know that someone in my house takes a liking to these.  Please do not judge my family.We are trying to find the proper help for this person.  Any suggestions will be appreciated.  

video one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=WBOLQzj2e1o

video two

http://youtu.be/V7yuUzLNiQw

video three

http://youtu.be/oGWbt3DSje0

video four

http://youtu.be/nTegy6sBQVA

By the process of elimination we figured out the responsible person.  Sally and I both have no interest in this subject mater. At least now that I am older. We have our own and each others  to look at and play with.  Michael has his own computer.  Kaity is limited to her computer skills.  Then there is Zach.  And then I remember one day I was laying on the couch sleeping and it was the weekend. Zach later come in the living room without me knowing it and started playing on the computer.  I started to  hear some weird music coming from below me. I looked down and saw Zach sitting on the floor with the computer.  I glanced at the screen and saw what I saw. Zach jumped and closed out the screen,and started to play a game. Then he said "I don't know what happened it just popped up." I was really tired and told Zach to put the computer away.  I went back into my deep  sleep and forgot all about it until Sally's discovery.  We confronted Zach, his face turned all red, he said it wasn't me, and ran away to his room.  It explains why we keep seeing him in the past recently days playing with his stomach and belly button.  He made us swear not to tell anyone.  So I am not saying a word.  But it's to funny not to share. So I am keeping my mouth shut but I didn't promise I wouldn't keep my fingers still.  

That is a quick blog. I will do another blog about my progress or regression,whatever the situation may be very soon.

Pre Halloween

It's seems we are usually as busy during the Halloween season as we are during Christmas, Except, Christmas is way more expensive and family is always involved. I believe you have to make special memories with your kids,no matter what. I want them to have wonderful memories of there childhood.  Today marks my 5 day streak of feeling good. It seems the more active I am, the better I feel.  I am exhausted by all the things I have been doing but it's a good exhaustion,


Yesterday night I thought Halloween may have been ruined for the Ceiga family.  Michael took the little ones to Cabala's.  I went with them last year and it was  nice.  I didn't feel like standing in long lines and Michael offered. So I jumped at the chance of staying out of long lines and no crowds. I got the kids all dressed in there costumes , put there coats on , gave them there candy bags for collecting there candy, kisses and tried to send them on there way. I say tried because it was about 4 hours to early to take them. When Michael was able to take them,  the kids came home happy and were talking about the party.  Sally took one look at Kaity and went berserk.  Kaity's dress was covered in paint.   Non washable paint.  Kaity didn't seem to mind(she was eating candy) but my wife was almost in tears.  Sally yanked the dress off of Kaity and started spraying the stain remover and started scrubbing. She looked like a crazy woman. No, I mean crazier then normal.  I stayed back but I was fearful for the dress,  I didn't think the dress is machine washable and I was afraid with all the scrubbing Sally was going to put a hole in it.  I was more fearful of Sally so I decided to not say a word and hope for the best.  The dress came out OK and Halloween was saved.  


This morning, Zachary had a birthday party to attend.  It was at the  Challenger Learning Center. Neither one of us have been there before.  I walked him in and I was planning on leaving.  Zachary didn't want me to leave him and there were a lot of parents that stayed so I stayed too. I would love to go back some other time and see everything they have to offer. http://www.clcnwi.com/ 

Being the party animal Zach is, he had another party this afternoon.  After we dropped him off and we took Kaity to the Tri-Town Safety Village http://www.safetyvillage.us/index.html  for a Halloween Party.  I have been intrigued with this place since it was built 4-5 years ago.  I never knew what it was exactly until recently.  It's a child size village that teaches children about safety.  Kaity had a lot of fun going from building to building collecting goodies.  There was a lady singing and Kaity enjoyed dancing and spinning around.  During her trick or treating a lady went up to Kaity and said "Let me guess.  You must be Aurora".  My wife said "No, she is Sleeping Beauty."   The lady then replied  "Aurora is Sleeping Beauty and her name means dawn." I laughed at Sally. She was going back and forth for about 10mins saying"No, Sleeping Beauty", you know nothing about Disney movie's fool.  It's nice when someone proves her wrong and puts her back in her place since she is always doing that to me.  I didn't know Sleeping Beauty and Aurora was the same but I am a guy and I did have my suspicions though. I definitely wouldn't argue about it if I wasn't sure either.  Guys don't know that stuff.  But my wife should have known this.  After that I told everyone what happened to rub it in Sally's face even more.  

After we picked Zach up from his party, we took the kids to Trick or Trunk.  There is a small church that does this every year.  The kids look forward to it and to be honest so do I.  There are 20 cars that are decorated. The kids go from car to car trick or treating.  Some of the cars are really decorated. In side the building they had hot dogs, games, crafts and a guy who makes balloon animals.  OK balloon creations since my wife just corrected me and said he created a flower for Kaity and that isn't an animal. So excuse me of my inaccuracy.  The kids also went on a hayride. 

                                                    Deb, does the coat look familiar to you?

                                               That's my boy.  Checking out his loot.

After we left Trick or Trunk, we went to see carved pumpkins at a house in Griffith.  Every year a family has a display of pumpkins and every year it's a different theme.  This year the theme is Monopoly.  Parked cars line the streets and there were many people there taking pictures and admiring the pumpkins. I heard the heaviest pumpkin was a little over 1300 pounds   It's amazing how creative some people are.  The gentlemen that does all this creativity competes at 3 or 4 different venues with them and I know he has the record for the heaviest pumpkin. 

The night wouldn't be complete without our Saturday junk food and movie night ritual.  Tonight's feature was "Winnie the Pooh".  I was glad it was only 63 minutes long.  The kids liked it though.  Tomorrow, I am planning on taking the kids to some more Halloween fun.  Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.  Good night and God Bless.   Bill

Our intimacy-take note

Knock on wood, this is the second day in a row I have felt good.  Not a 100% but well enough to be functional. I am grateful for the two days but hoping there will be a few more days left in this streak. Especially, for the weekend since there are a bunch of Halloween things to do with the kids.


This morning, my mom watched Kaity. Thanks Mom!  Sally and I were able to go to the social security office. I wasn't sure what to expect and didn't know what to bring.  We figured we would just talk with someone and come back at a later time with the documents that were needed and come back again after that. Earlier this month, Sally started to fill out the application on line.  She was told to wait until I received my final pay from Avery. In the mean time she talked to a social worker who told her to have me go in person to apply instead of on line.  


We get there and the wait was nothing what I expected. We didn't have to wait that long at all.  Everyone before us was called up to a window but fortunately for me, we were called to talk to a person at a desk. We told him that I wanted to apply for disability, he asked if I had an appointment and I told him whatya mean.  He then went ahead and filled out the forms for me.  It took over 2 hours.  He was surprised I have been working for almost 3 years after my diagnoses.He told me that I should have filled out the info when I was first diagnosed in Jan of "09"  I know I worked longer then most people would have.  However, not working is still a hard concept for me to accept. I still feel I can come back,but I do realize that is a fairy tale.


Good news is, the application was red flagged and submitted today. Which means there is a rush on my application and I should get an answer in a month.My sad story must have done the trick.  Bad news it will take 5 months to start collecting.  Good news, after I receive an approval letter I can collect my 401K which is great knowing it will take just a month or two. Bad news is.........sorry following a sequence.


I am hoping tomorrow, I will feel like I did today.  If the weather cooperates, I am planning on putting out the Halloween decorations after planning to do so since September.  Not sure if I will put out everything, but I would at least like to do some decorations. My kids really look forward to a decorated yard, although Zach isn't keen on Halloween decorations since they scare him. I told him that I would only put out a few of the scarier ones. I just didn't tell him they will be put right outside his bedroom window. Since Halloween is my favorite season, I enjoy decorating and take much pride in my handy work no matter at who's expense.


Sorry about the title of the blog,but thought it would help give me more hits or maybe not. 


That is it for now.  God Bless,   Bill

A Day in Chicago Without Bill :(

Sally again.  Bill has been under the weather. He had chemo last Monday and has been feeling bad ever since.  Even with all the medication he is on, he has been battling with stomach pains and nausea.  


Yesterday, we went to my nephew's birthday celebration. We walked around outside for a little bit and Bill got tired.  It's frustrating for him to be feeling like this. This morning he was feeling nauseated but thought he felt OK enough to go to church.  Near the end of mass Bill became dizzy and we had to leave . He laid down afterwards and ate Spaghetti O's and Franks. He felt better and decided to work in the garage.  He is trying to get the garage cleaned up and get rid of the things I will not need. It makes me sad seeing him preparing for the day when he will not be here. He didn't get much done though.  He became dizzy again and Michael and I helped him put everything back in the garage.  Hopefully soon, he will feel good enough to accomplish the things he wants to do.


Last week Zach and Kaity were both home from school for fall break.  With all the rain we had and Bill not feeling well the kids were bored staying at home. Friday, Zach convinced me to take them to Chicago to walk around.  Zach and Kaity both promised me it wouldn't cost me more then the train tickets. They both packed their lunches.  Kaity gave me a marker so I could write my cell phone number on her arm in case she got lost.   Their mission in Chicago was to go to the Lego store, American Girl store, and Millennium Park.  


On the train ride there, Kaity became hungry and ate her lunch and Zachary decided to eat his lunch too.  It was a long walk to the Water Tower Place but the kids didn't seem to mind. Kaity had never been to Chicago so she was in awe with her surroundings. The kids had a good time looking in their stores. They both kept their promise and didn't ask for a thing. Both showed me a couple of things they wanted and asked if they could go back and shop for their birthdays. 


On the way back the walk seemed like forever. I was worried about Kaity's legs. I thought about getting a cab but whenever I saw one that was available we were not able to get to it.  Kaity was starving. I felt so bad for her.  She was walking really slow and when we finally found a Subway we were only a block away from the park.  After the kids ate, Kaity perked up.  We walked around  Millennium Park for a bit before caught the train.  On the way home, Zach sat by himself. He was hoping no on would sit by him but the train was crowded and a mail man sat next to him.  I could tell Zachary felt really uncomfortable. The gentleman must have gotten the same vibe. He told Zachary he won't bite.  Kaity spent the next 10 minutes laughing hard at Zach.  Zach didn't enjoy Kaity's laughter.  They both had a good time though and Bill was able to relax in an empty quiet house.  


Here are some pictures of Chicago.  Hope you enjoy them.

 In case you are wondering, Zachary is trying to take a picture of Marilyn Manroe's panties.

                                                              A lego created Cowboy

                                                            Woody made out of Lego's.

                                                  The Cloud Gate or as Zach calls it "the bean".

No place like home.

Today, I spent the day cleaning out the refrigerator and the cabinets.  Why may you ask? Because I can.   I am a man of leisure now. Besides whats Sally going to say,"Oh Honey please don't do that,it will still be there next week and the week after that.........After much debating with myself and my wife, I decided a couple of weeks ago to go on medical leave. It was a really hard decision for me to make.  Working has always been important to me.  It always gave me great satisfaction and pride to do a good job and provide for my family.  Getting paid while I am not working feels like I am stealing.  

I am at the point I have been experiencing more bad days then good. I am always tired. I am on pain medication as well and I do not feel like it is safe to run machinery while under the influence.  I wanted to leave work on good terms, on my terms without being forced. Short term disability is for 6 months.  My wife promised that she would not give me any grief  if I decided to go back to work before the 6 months are up(she says this now).  I am hoping I will feel well enough to go back.  In the mean time, there are a lot of things I need to get done. I am also going to apply for social security benefits just in case I am not able to go  back. I do have the intention of being back but, if I don't pass my "going back to work test" it would be selfish to do so.


Since there was no urgency on taking my leave, I was able to give work a weeks notice.   I wanted to be able to say all my good byes and to let everyone know my reasons.  I wanted to try to avoid rumors but I am sure there where rumors going on about me.  Which isn't something new.  On my last day of work, I was called into the break room. To my surprise, it was filled with people I work with and most I remembered who they where. There were two cakes sitting on the table. One for me and the other one for everybody else to share.  I was touched and honored by this grand gesture. A couple people from management  had a few kinds words to say about me. I bet that was hard for them to do......find kind words to say about me that is. Many people came up to me with heartfelt warm wishes. They probably wanted first dibs on whats in my locker.Then there were a couple of people who walked in the room and walked right out to avoid me. They probably knew they weren't going to get anything out of my locker, besides I still own it. Its a nice one too. Not sure what I did to them.  Never the less, it made me realize once again how lucky I have been to work for a great company that is filled with even greater employees.  


With that said I am planning on writing frequently.  Not sure about daily but hopefully a lot more then I have been.  Being at home and with the family, I am sure I am going to be having lots of blog material. I have things now that haven't made it into a blog yet.