Kaity's 2nd Birthday!

Today I woke up feeling like a whole new man again. What difference prayers and a night makes. I had to go to work in the morning to fax some papers to the insurance company. While they were waiting for me Kaity got a birthday card in the mail. She was happy to have her very own mail to open. After, Sally and I took Kaitlyn to the mall. When he pulled up to the mall Kaity got all excited almost jumped out of her car seat ( good thing she was still buckled in). She loves to go shopping already. We took her on the merry go round. She kept pointing to it but when she went on she started to cry. Sally sat down with her and she cried half way through it. We picked upped Zachary and Michael up from school and went out for dinner. We had a gift certificate for a newer restaurant called Dante's. It's rare for us to walk out of a restaurant with a doggie bag. This time we walked out with 5 boxes. The portions were huge. Kaity's child size mac a cheese was enough to feed me plus it came with fries.
Kaity opened her presents when we got home. She loved her new baby doll. Was kissing her while she was still in the box. The baby cries, laughs and coos. Kaity mimics her baby. I think Zach likes her toys as much as she does.
Like I said earlier it was 2 years ago since my little girl was born. We didn't know for sure if she was going to be a boy or a girl. We suspected she was going to be a she. Kaity was born the day after Easter. Easter evening Sally and I were trying to get everything ready for the hospital. We still did not decide on a name. I told Sally I wanted a name before the baby was born so I could let everyone know when I called. If the baby was a boy the name would have been William if he looked like me (Zachary should have been little Bill since he looks like me) and if he didn't look like me his name would have been Jacob. We narrowed the girl's name between Kaitlyn and Loren. Sally had wanted Kaitlyn with every pregnancy and I liked the name as well but we both liked Loren too. A few hours before she was born we both agreed on Kaitlyn Grace. We both agreed we like Kaitlyn better and Grace because of the grace of God we were able to have her. When she was born the first thing I did was look to see what she was. I felt like the Cubs just one the world series. Then I looked up to check out the rest of my baby girl. The next thing I noticed was her headful of hair. If I didn't see her being born, I would have denied she was ours. She had tons of black hair with reddish high lights. It looked like she went and had highlights put in before she was born. I always wanted a daddy's little girl. Dreams do come true.
The White Sox lost again and I feel oh so bad. I had to ask Sally for some tissue, not because I was sad but because there was a bug I needed to kill. Since Thomes dramatic Home run in there first Game with the Royals the sorriest team in the American league last year. The Sox Scored 1 run had / 7 hits/ 13 strike outs/ only 60 at bats. Looks like it may be a long year for Ozzies boys. One can only hope. Go Rams

Today, I am not much better. I do not feel like eating, plus I am tired and miserable. Tomorrow is my little girl's 2nd birthday. I hope I am feeling better. Zachary had an eye exam after school. I pushed myself to go. I wanted to make sure my pumpkin got the coolest glasses in case he had to get them. His eyes changed a lot since his appointment in June. He will have to wear glasses all the time. Zachary was not thrilled at all. Zachary and I wanted him to get a pair of spiderman glasses but they were small on him. His glasses aren't cool but they do look good on him. There is not much of a dinner menu. I had left over soup for dinner tonight. Sorry this is short. I am drained. Plus I have to assemble a toy for Kaity's birthday. I hope I have more to say tomorrow. Good night everyone. God Bless.

Michael and me many years ago. I was one handsome man with my mustache.

I am still not feeling 100%. Not sure if it's because I skipped that week for chemo or because I had the stomach flu a couple of weeks ago. Whatever it is, it stinks. I went to the eye doctor this morning. I was having trouble reading. I am looking forward to getting my glasses so I can read the stack of magazines and books I have waiting. Hopefully now I can work on the model air
plane Zachary is so patiently waiting to help me.
I went to work to take care of some things. It was great seeing the people from work. On the other hand it's hard on me to. I wish I could be back at work. It's just another reminder that I am a sick man.
Cubs won yesterday! What a good way for them to begin the season. I hope this is a reflection for the rest of the season.
Tonight's dinner was pasta e fagioli soup. This delicious soup was made with freshly chopped mild onion, celery, grated sweet carrots, minced garlic, freshly chopped basil and parsley which were all grown in the country I love. Imported from Italy small pasta shells. Simmered in tomato juice and chicken broth. Cooked until the pasta was el dante. Served with perfectly baked home made bread. The crust was crisp yet the inside was soft and airy.

I'm back

Hi , It's me I'm back and feeling a little better. I don't feel as nauseated as I did in the last few days. I just feel very tired like I just got done jogging. My legs feel a little stiff and sometimes I will get toe cramps . All I ate so far today was carnation instant breakfast. For dinner today I will try and eat some soup. This is the worst I felt since starting the chemo so I hope this was only because I had to miss a week because I got sick. I know when the weather gets better I will be better too. I love to be outside and being inside makes me go stir crazy. I was at Avery today for a little while cause I had some business to take care of. I wasn't there very long but hope maybe later this week to visit longer with the people I work with. I didn't go in the production area only the office area. I believe the Machine I work on is doing Preventative Maintenance this week so I will try and visit.
Let me tell you about how Sally and I met. First of all my Mom and her Mom were friends since our younger sisters were in the first grade. Our moms would take them out and do things together when they were younger. I was in Sally's older sister's class in junior high. Sally babysat my sisters a few times. When Michael was little my sister Lisa watched Michael a few times. So our families go way back. The funny thing is Sally and I never met. We both heard stories about one another, knew each other's moms and some of the siblings yet we never met.
My mom was on the quest to make sure we were all married before she died. She didn't want me to be alone. I was quite content with my single life. I enjoyed my freedom. My mom was persistent though. She wanted me to go out on date with Mary's daughter Sally. She kept nagging me to call Sally. I finally caved in to keep her quiet. I called Sally right after New Years in 1994. We talked for a long time and I told her I would call her back. I never told her when I would call back. I didn't call her back until the spring of the following year. Of course it was after I continually heard from my mom to call Sally back. So I finally called Sally and we talked for a long time again. But in the conversation I will swear Sally said "I wish you would just leave me alone". Sally to this day swears she never said this but I heard what I heard and my hearing never serves me wrong. So I didn't call her back. However, my mom still insisted I go out for coffee and cake with Sally (I felt like I was taking a grandma out). So I finally called her again in November. We talked for a long time and I asked her if she would like to go out with me and she said OK. Sally wasn't interested in a relationship either. Michael was little and she devoted most of her free time to him. Plus she enjoyed going out with her friends. She was going to school full time and working part time at Omni Finer Foods (Dominicks). I did have the upper hand though. Sally had no clue what I looked like but I went to her work and scoped her out. My mom said Sally looked angelic. That description almost made me not to want to go out on a date. The first time I laid eyes on her I thought she was so hot she could melt ice. I think Sally felt the same way about going out on a date with me also.( not the hot melting ice part) Something you don't want to do but did it to make others happy.
On November 25th, 1995 we finally went on our first date. I wanted to keep the date local so I could take her home quickly if I didn't like her. She lived in Highland and I lived in the same house I live now in Griffith. So we lived about a mile apart. The date was for the movies. I was working midnights at the dairy and I was hungry and asked if she didn't mind if we went to Jedi's first. She claimed to have already eaten and ordered just a bowl of lemon rice soup and I ordered a BLT sandwich. I must say I was really nervous for not wanting to go out with her. After dinner I believe the movie we saw was Tommy Boy . We had a good time but.one thing that almost ended the date was when she came out of the women's restroom she had a piece of toilet tissue stuck to her shoe. I remember this little kid just laughing. Wondering what he was laughing at until he started pointing at Sally's feet with this three foot piece of toilet tissue stuck to her shoe. I tried to stay at least five feet ahead of her as not to bring attention to myself. She kept catching up with me. I finally told her to walk ahead of me.Not telling her why. I tried to step on the tissue to release it from her shoe. It was hard cause she was walking and I was having a hard time stepping on it. It looked like I was trying to do the splits. Finally I had to tell her so I could remove the pesky tissue. After that we went to the Back Door Lounge and downed few test tube shots and shot some darts. I almost fell out of the my chair a couple of times not because I was drunk but because the chairs were flimsy ( I got drunk later). That was the start of my life with Sally. We will be married 11 years this coming June and together over 13 years.

Here is a picture of Bill and his baby sister, Lisa taken at the benefit. Lisa did a lot to help out with the benefit. Her friend designed the photo. She did a great job.

Yesterday, the Easter Bunny was at Stracks. Kaity was scared of the bunny.

Bill still isn't feeling good today. He stayed in bed for most of the day. He had problems with smells which made it difficult for him to eat. He did drink Carnation Instant Breakfast and was able to eat dinner tonight. He wasn't able to attend mass this morning. He wanted to try but I told him he needed to stay home. My mom brought over Holy Communion to him and prayed with him. I was going to write about how Bill and I met. But decided to tell what we think about on days like to day.

Days like today makes me more grateful for the good days we have. I am thankful there are more good days then bad. However, there may be a time where it will be the complete opposite. Days like today reminds us that he is very sick. It's easy to forget on a good day. Not that we can actually forget but on good days we can "pretend" he is fine. I don't think there is a moment of time that I forget he is very sick. I wish we could just forget, even if it was just for a day. It would be great to have a day without tears. Everyone tells us Bill will be fine. However, the chances of him surviving are a lot less them of him dying. I know it's not a subject anyone wants to talk about it. However, I would rather be prepared then not and he needs to be as well. Not that I know how do you really be prepared because I don't think anyone can be 100% prepared for something like this. Especially with our children being so small and Bill has a lot of life he still wants to live. It feels like we are living with a black cloud over our heads. Not knowing if the chemo is working or the cancer is spreading. I do believe in miracles. I know they happen all the time. I also believe in God's will. His will may not be the same as what we want. Maybe he has better things in store for Bill. Sometimes I feel like I am being selfish for praying for Bill to live. We all know eternal life is much more better then the life we have on earth. He will no longer have to suffer.

Sorry this blog is dreary. Bill not feeling well and the weather being gloomy brings out the worst in me. Hopefully Bill will feel better tomorrow and be able to write an entertaining blog for everyone's reading pleasure.

It's me Sally. Bill is having it bad with the side effects. It's worst then the last 2 times. We were told the side effect would get better so this was not expected. He didn't sleep well last night. Woke up with an upset stomach. He spent most of the day in bed. Right before we left to have the chemo pump remove he drank a cup of Carnation Instant Breakfast. He did feel better after the pump was removed and wanted pizza. We picked up a cheese pizza and a video on the way home. He ate pizza and watched "Bed Time Stories" with Zachary. Bill didn't eat much pizza and ended up getting sick after wards. He still isn't feeling very well. For those you have called Bill today, we told him. He didn't feel like talking to anyone but feels good to know people care about him. The kids are driving him nuts so I am going to make it short and get them ready for bed.

visitors

Today I felt a little tired, so I took a nap and felt a lot better when I woke up.I'm not having to many of the symptoms except for the tiredness. I did have a slight metal taste in my mouth after the chemo yesterday but, nothing today.

Today I had visitors from Avery Dennison . Bill Goldsmith who is the president of my plant and Joe Hurley who is a lead operator on coater 8. I really appreciate the time they took to come over and see how I am doing. It was a very nice visit and can't say enough how much It means to me to see and hear from the people from Avery. I hope too hear from more of you., and I hope everyone is checking the blog if you feel uncomfortable calling. Everyone at Avery Is like a big family looking out for there own. I was told by a few employees that about 10 years ago that when Mr. Goldsmith came to Avery it was in bad shape and on the verge of closure. In fact he was there to close the plant from what I understand. He seen some potential in the plant and made a complete turn around and saved the plant. In a few short years that plant became division of the year , and once again a few years ago I believe in my second year at Avery. He is a well respected man there and deservedly so. Avery is world wide and has over two hundred plants.Thank you again Bill for coming to see me it meant a lot, oh and you to Joe.

I want to tell everyone how I got my job at Avery. I worked at a dairy products plant in Chicago that closed on Oct.31 ( Halloween) of 2003 I was there two and half months shy of 11 years. I won't go into detail why they closed. I didn't care that the plant closed cause it was a long ride in and coming home, It was also located in the West side of Chicago which is one of the rougher areas .Well anyway when I got laid off I didn't mind like I said. I was going on the computer and sending out resumes and going through the news paper everyday with no calls. Christmas came and all I did was make 10 to 12 different of cookies plus fudge. I was in my glory and must of gained about 20 pounds during the month of December. I kept on looking for jobs I saw a add for Avery and took in my application ( sent one in actually twice)than in February on my birthday my mother in law Mary gave me a St Joseph statue and a novena to say.( St. Joseph is the patron saint of fathers and workers) I was saying his novena everyday. She told me towards the end of Feb. that I will get a job in March , because his feast day was in March. So on Monday the 1St of March I was called for an interview. I was interviewed by a man named Jeff McKenzie. He was a man of large stature. He told me a lot of things about Avery most of which I knew because I researched it before my interview. Some of the things he was telling me I thought that perhaps he was trying to scare me. I laugh at fear unless that fear comes from God. Then on Thursday March 4th I got a call from Karen in HR at the time, that they needed my expertise. She asked if I was interested in bailing there warehouse out because it was in shambles. I said of course I would be delighted. They sent me my info with a drug test info that I got that Friday and took on Saturday. I started on that Monday the 8th. That was the beginning of my new journey with Avery. At first few weeks I would go home with stomach aches because of all things that I had to learn. I actually told my wife Sally that I don't know if I will be able to do it. I finally got accustom to it and flourished and became the savior they sought. I needed a change so I later bid on a floater operator job ( I will be trained on three different machines to cover vac. and call offs.) I got the job and I stayed there for a while. A another year or so goes by and I was asked if I would be interested in being a lead operator On the Metallizer machine. I thought about it for a while and took the job. So in less than 5 years I moved up pretty good and I love what I am doing and hope to continue for a long long time. Just like most major companies Avery is going through a tough time but, I feel confident that we will be fine cause we have Bill Goldsmith. WINK WINK

Thanks to everyone who checks on the blog and were the heck are the Cub Fans at? Don't worry I still love you all anyway. God Bless you all.

Chemo Day

I still laugh when I look at this picture. This was from our honey moon at Wisconsin Dells. I added bubbles to the jacuzzi and didn't realize it would bubble up like it did. I was laughing my butt off. I had a hard time holding the camera steady. Bill didn't find the humor in it. He wasn't to happy with me. It was our first tiff as man and wife. It was the beginning of his many walks.

Today, Bill is really tired. We were woken up at 3Am from Kaity. She screamed for at least 30 minutes while I held her. No matter what I did she wouldn't calm down. She made sure the entire family was awake. She seemed to be afraid of something and didn't want to have anything to do with Bill. Out of desperation I tried bribing her with taking her outside and she said "noooooooooo", then I tried candy and she said "nooooooooooo", she didn't even want her biby "pacifier". Not sure what her problem was but we were happy when she calmed down and I was able to rock her.

This afternoon Bill saw the doctor and had a chemo treatment. 3 down and 9 to go. After the 6 treatment he will go in for scans to see if the chemo is working. His blood work looks good and the doctor told him it's Ok for him to be gaining weight. Some of the medication they give him during treatment has steroids in it which can contribute to the weight gain. The side effects from chemo should also get better as he goes.

He has been very courageous through this. He has never complained and takes each day one day at a time. He is always thinking about everyone else and trying to make it easier for everyone else through this difficult time. I am very proud of him. I am not sure if I could be as graceful if it were me.

Bill has a bodacious appetite today. He ate a large lunch at 11:30 Since 2PM he had 6 snacks, a large hot chocolate, 2 huge plates of dinner and now is waiting for chocolate pudding with whip cream. I made a double batch but I have a feeling at least half of it will end up in Bill's belly. This morning I put short ribs in the crock pot. Dinner tonight was very tender boneless short ribs smothered in a tangy/spicy rich sauce. Served with tender wide buttered noodles sprinkled with chopped parsley, sea salt and freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Also, with very flavorful fried cabbage which was very sweet and tender.

Hopefully, tomorrow Bill will be able to write his blog. Usually, on Saturdays after his chemo is the hardest day for him. I am going to try to make a slide show with the pictures from the benefit. If anyone has pictures they would like to share please email them to me at smileysal1@aol.com. Thanks

No Title

Today I woke up early and Sally made me a delicious breakfast. She got some Of Idaho's best Potatoes and cut them up in tiny bite sized morsels. She cooked them to the perfect crispness. They were joined with two of the perfectly cooked fried eggs. The whites were nice and white and the yokes were running all over the place. Just perfect for dipping your toast into. Just smelling the mellifluous aroma just made my tongue dance with joy. All this was accompanied with a tall glass of the coldest orange juice.
After I had this scrumptious meal I went and did my pre-chemo blood work. When Zachary came home I helped him with his homework and after that we went out and flew a kite. I have never flew a kite before in my life. I am happy to say that it flew the highest. I also had to make a paper air plane for Zachary for a school project. That didn't fly as well. Zachary was so proud of the plane I made, he wanted to color it.When he got done it was so colorful. I think he liked that better than the kite.
I know that I didn't finish my bucket list yet but, I really need to think about it.I don't want it to sound stupid. So when I come up with the next six I will start to post more I am keeping this blog short ,because I have something that needs my attention. Coming soon if I could be any insect, flower, person, fish etc. what would I be?
Thanks to everyone for the prayers and the kind words of encouragement. God bless you all!!
I also wanted to say that my last blog about my alone time is not about self pity. I don't feel pity for myself. What I feel is what I think my kids may feel if I'm not in there life. I am putting myself in there shoes. I am trying to feel there pain. I did this to myself and have nobody else to blame but myself. My kids and my wife are the innocent victims.