Thursday, March 10, 2011

A huge blow

view detailsBill had a routine CT scan done on Monday. This time we were not nervous about the results. As long as he is on chemo, we knew everything was going to be OK. At the very worse, the tumors were not shrinking as quickly as we would like. It was a change from the last time. The last time, I received a phone call 3 days prior to his chemo treatment saying the doctor needed to talk to us about the CT results. Of course, they wouldn’t say about what. So for three days we worried. I tried not telling Bill about the call but I couldn't stop crying and I was worrying him. Not knowing and worrying about the results is dreadful. Especially, when you know the results are bad and you are in the doctor’s office waiting for a long time for the doctor to walk through the door. The anticipation is unbearable and the worst case of scenario goes running through your mind. Hearing the “bad” news has been easier to handle then the waiting for the results.

This morning I woke up thinking positive thoughts. Bill was scheduled for chemo and had an appointment to see the oncologist. Bill was at work and I was just about to get ready and the phone ring. It was the nurse asking where Bill had his surgeries at. Of course she said she didn’t know anything but I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I tried to act like nothing was wrong when I saw Bill. He went to have the infusion first. The nurse started the IV and the doctor walked into the room and said he needed to talk to us and told the nurse to stop treatment. My stomach fell and I could tell Bill was very concerned. Chewing on his nails is always a given sign when he is upset or worried.

We were moved to an office and didn’t have to wait long for Doctor Mboama. As soon as he walked through the door and by the look of his face we knew it was bad. We just didn’t realize at that point how bad it was. He said that the 2 tumors in the liver had grown. Then the nurse came in the room and told the doctor he had a phone call. He stepped out and left us hanging. Which I could tell he was relented to do but I knew the phone call must have been important. When he came back he told us the tumors have doubled in size and that there are 1 or 2 more additional tumors in the liver. The cancerous lymph node has grown as well and there are 2 more cancerous lymph nodes now.

Usually, the doctor will give us a couple of options to choose from. This time he did not. He said he knows that we have young children and he is going to act aggressive and as quickly as possible. First step is to have the tumor that was removed from the colon tested to see if the cells are genetically mutated or non-mutated. If it’s non-mutated there is a new chemotherapy drug that will be used. If it’s mutated the chances of him beating this is not as high. It takes about 2 weeks to get the results.

The second step will be going back to UIC and have the SIRT procedure to the liver. He will have this as soon as possible, since he has to be off chemo for a month. With the 2 weeks wait for the other test result, doctor thought this would be the best time to have it done.

The third step is to wait for the test results so a new chemotherapy regiment can begin. Obviously the chemo pills, Xeloda, did not work. So Bill will have to go back to 5-fu which means he will be wearing the portable pump again. Which of course Bill is not happy about. He didn’t complain about it and the doctor said it’s his only chance for survival. He was also told he will have more side effects. Basically, he was told he is going to be feeling like crap.

Right now, we are trying to absorb everything. It’s terrifying news but the doctor still remains optimistic and so are we. We will be praying for non-mutated cells and just try to live life the same way we did yesterday. Bill is amazing. I know he is scared and worried but he is trying so hard not show it. He and Kaity are at Omni while I am writing this. Which means he hasn’t given up and still determined more than ever to beat this.


  1. Know that my thoughts and prayer are with all of you. I too am looking optimistic and praying for a Miracle. Don't really know what else to say at a time like this, but hope the Lord performs that Miracle I am awaiting... Much love to all!!!

  2. I wasn't sure how to post, but it was me that just posed the comment Anonymously, Sally.
    MaryAnne Koran

  3. Don't lose the determination! Keep fighting through good days and bad. Sheri and I just got a huge blow ourselves, so I can relate.

    Hang in there, we are thinking of you and sending positive thoughts!

  4. I'm really sorry :( I don't know what else I can even say :(

  5. Praying for you. My husband has colo-rectal cancer and is going through radiation and chemo with the pump attached to him as I type this. Surgery to remove everything in May. So, if anyone can relate, he can. Please pray for him also.

  6. though you surely MUST feel ALONE right now i promise you with every breath i take, you are NOT ALONE! i cannot and i mean CANNOT imagine for one second what you guys are going through today (yesterday or any other day) and IF there WERE words to say i would find them! all i CAN (am able to do) is promise you that i shall continue to COVER your family in prayers, day and night! how helpless we are at times in our life and yet we always have the ability to keep the FAITH strong and forever present....
    i pray that God will bless you guys endlessly and give you strength and friends to help you through!
    whatever you need...reach out! i believe many will take your hand and help in any way you need!
    blessings of peace and health to all of you!

  7. and i mean mental health, emotional health, spiritual health and physical health...deb

  8. I will be praying for Bill. I am sending healing hugs/vibes your way.

  9. I want to thank everyone or the kind words of encouragement and support. I truly believe that I will be fine and beat this. I feel very blessed and can't thank all of you enough. Please know that all of you have a special place in my heart and I will keep all of you in my prayers.Thank you and God bless you all!!!!

  10. Hi Bill. I just found you tonight, er, this morning since it's after midnight. :) I saw that you were a follower on my blog. I usually like to check in on followers to see the usual; who, what, how, why, etc. So sorry to read of your Stage IV diagnosis but wanted to say no matter what, do not give up hope. Even if hope is all that you have left you just hang on tight and keep fighting and make sure you get on every danged prayer chain that every church is having. Get a laying on of hands if needed! I believe God is still in the miracle business! God bless!