The last two weeks of awesomeness!

I want to mention that I am doing very well. Not having any stomach issues. Been watching my caffeine intake and seems to be working. I still get slight irritation but nothing that keeps me down. I had chemo today (Friday) Everything went well just have some minor fatigue and same muscle tightness in my legs.

Last week, I was invited to go to The House of  Blues from my bestest Brother in law John and his brother Josh to see Tesla. It was me the two of them and another dude named Skippy (The Peanut Butter lover, or "Family Ties" groupie, or maybe the combination of the two? The world may never know because I didn't ask.) When we got there we went to the ticket window to pick up our tickets. Josh gotten them free because he is a really cool dude and was a big part of my benefit. I will be forever grateful to him. As soon as Josh walked up to the window we were escorted to another line. A man in dapper threads was standing there. We knew then we were in the VIP line. Obviously they noticed me and immediately moved us up.That's my story and I am sticking to it. I was  walking around like a peacock (or was it a pecan since they are both the same according to Zac) the rest of the night. The opening act was  the Steepwater Band. The lead singer taught Josh guitar lessons. The group was very good and I highly recommend getting a copy of there CD. Tesla as well didn't disappoint. This is the second time I seen them. I have never been to the House of Blues and that in itself was an experience.


Sally and I went to a Cubs game on the roof top (Beyond the Ivy). Sally my bestest wife won the tickets through a 101.9 The Mix drawing (a radio station SHE likes to listen to). There Road Crew was in front of Walmart one sunny Sunday afternoon.  Before they drew names, I had the weirdest feeling Sally was going to win honest to God I did. We had to be present for the drawing and we had about 15 minutes to wait for the drawing. She and the kids went in side the store. I became nervous because it was almost time for the drawing and she still wasn't back. She likes to torture me. She finally came back outside with 10 seconds to spare They pulled out a name and announced  Sally Cieagay. What the Hell was that, totally butchered my name. I almost left, almost I said they are Cubs tickets, the holy grail of Baseball( even though they suck this year), I had to correct them of course, you mean Ceiga.I forgave them.  We had to have our picture taken for their web site.  Except our picture never ended up there. I guess we do look that scary.

The game day itself  was a fun time. A lot of stair climbing up to the top and getting free food and beverages. It was a toasty day to say the least. Sally did get a little sick and stayed in the club house towards the end of the game. I was going back and forth checking on her, taking the coolest pics.of the friendly confines, getting food and beverages again and again.Then towards the last 30 minutes of the game they came out with a huge tray of brownies and cookies. That totally made my day.  Surprisingly those brownies were scrumptious.  I could have died a happy man and went to Heaven right then and there.  The Cubs did win the game in the 10th on a Jeff Baker walk off hit with the bases loaded. The Cubs bull pen did almost blow the game again. Great experience, but can't beat the felling actually being in the ball park.

This past Thursday, Sally and I  went to see Heart and Def Leppard concerts.We got the tickets from my favorite son at the time Micheal and our friend Ron (Michael's fairy God Father). Michael helped Ron get his house ready for a birthday party for his 3 adorable kids. Ron usually gives Michael a few dollars for helping him.  This year Michael and Ron decided instead of paying Michael, Ron would get Michael's most amazing, coolest, awesome parents, tickets to see Heart and Def Leppard.. The shows were excellent. First time I saw Heart and this was the 5th time I saw  Def Leppard. It's great going to these shows when you know 99% of the songs. I have to admit I am a rocker. Saw a lot of rock groups like Ozzy, Motely Crue, Jackyl, Alice Cooper, Metalica, Kid Rock etc. I  would name a few others but that would make certain friends and family members toes curl and make there hair stand on end . I saw these bands and I turned out fine. Well sorta, kinda, maybe a little bit.That's better then not at all. Sally on the other hand is messed up now.Although she wasn't with me at all those concerts but was at few of them with me, may need help. The hardest core bands she saw until I warped her was the Monkeys and Weird Al Yankovic. I like a lot of different flavors of music but like I said I am a rocker at heart. A 46 year old rocker that doesn't look the part. So don't be fooled. On a side note, Sally and our friend Lynn (Ron's wife) spent most of the time commenting on people's attire.  When Sally wasn't commenting on that, Ron and her kept making little comments on mine and Lynn's age.  I still can't see how she has everyone fooled and everyone thinks she is so sweet.

GOD Bless you all and I am still a nice guy. So don't be afraid to approach me.Although everyone says I look mad. That's just the way I look, thanks to my mom!

I Had Cancer (review)

There is a new web site about to be launched. It's called "I Had Cancer". It's different from the other cancer support web sites I have found. This one is a social support for anyone who is or has been effected by cancer.  


Unfortunately,the majority of us has been effected by cancer in one way or another. This web site offers a great support system whether you are a fighter, survival, or supporter.   It's always great to be able to talk to someone who is specifically experiencing what you are or had gone through.  Everyone needs someone to talk to.  You might not be able to find that with people you encounter in the every day life. This is a great way to meet people who may understand you experiences, feelings and thoughts.   It is a very cool concept and I believe many people will benefit from it.


Like I said in the beginning, this web site is about to be launched.  Right now it's in beta.  However, there is a way to get access before it is launched.  Go to beta.ihadcancer.com, enter this code 7E776D, and create an account.


Let me know what you think.  I would like to give a special thank you to Liz.  She was the one who found me through this blog and shared the new web site with me.  

Colonoscopy

Colonoscopy day.  I am happy to announce no polyps or tumors.  The worse part of it was prepping the day before and having to deal with Sally.  She always thinks it's funny when I am at my worse.  Well, she thinks she is  humorous but I find her to be annoying.  Just a big sigh of relief it's over with and everything in that area is OK.  It really isn't as bad as it sounds.  Having cancer is must worse than having a colonoscopy, so make sure you go in for yours.  

The warm weather is taking a toll on me.  I am really tired and having a hard time handling the heat at times,  For that reason, I am glad we are only working 40 hour shifts at work right now. It's a great time for the air in the car not to be working too.  Nothing like arriving somewhere covered in sweat. At least I can come home to a cool house. 

My stomach issues are much better.  I had a  flair up recently.  I drank  Mountain Dew and the next day I spent the entire day in bed due to pain.  I never drink Mountain Dew but for some strange reason I was craving it. I won't admit that Sally was right when she said I have an ulcer and to stay away from alcohol and caffeine.  It's just a coincidence. What does my wife know anyways.  She is studying to be a teacher not a doctor.   


The pictures that are attached are from a day when we went to the park.  If you noticed I was less then thrilled having my picture taken and I think the kids were as well.  I wanted to enjoy the scenery and Sally kept making us stop every 5 feet to snap pictures.  I am just thankful she left the camera at home today.  If not, I am sure there would have been a lot of moon shots.


Hope to write soon.  Thank you for following my blog.
God Bless, Bill

Birds of a Feather Flock Together.

Birds of a feather flock together.

I just wanted to make a quick mention about whats going on with me. For the most part I have been feeling more tired and fatigued more then usual. Trying to go to sleep a little earlier to help get more rest but, enjoy my alone time with Sally. Still having stomach issues. My last one was last Thursday that lasted until Friday afternoon but, tapper-ed off by than, so I still went to work (I left work Thursday at 11:30 it was so severe). Our family doctor believes its an ulcer. I am inclined to agree. So I am doing what he is telling me to do, so far so good. Other than this all is good


As some of you may know, our daughter has been going to speech therapy for almost a year because she is speech delayed.  In the last couple of months she can carry a conversation with us.  Sally and I still are amazed and proud when we hear her talk. The things she comes up with often leaves us in stitches.  


With that said, tonight Sally made a salad for dinner.  I immediately told her I was full from all the liquids I drank through out the day to stay cool.  Surprisingly the kids ate the salad and didn't complain which is a first.  Usually, there is someone who has to make a negative comment when it comes to dinner time.  I don't think Sally cared for dinner all that much either. Because after dinner, she mentioned going for ice cream.  Of course I was the first one in the car waiting with a smile.  Kaity told me she was going to get a pink ice cream with blueberries.  She ended up with a hot fudge sundae with whip cream.  Zachary ordered a chunky monkey just like his dear old dad.  


The following is the conversation between Zach and Kaity while they were eating their ice cream treats.


Zach "I have peacocks in mine.  Kaity do you want a bite?" Kaity, "I don't eat birds." Zachary said you eat chickens right?  Kaity "I like chicken but I do not eat birds." Zach "You eat birds." Kaity "I DON't EAT BIRDS!".  A couple seconds went by "Yuck, Zach you farted."  Zach "No, I didn't", as he scooted away from where he was sitting.  "Zach you did to fart and it smells", as she plugged her nose.  Then Kaity continues to work on eating her ice cream and Zach stopped eating and said "I don't like the peacocks.  I need to a drink of water.  They are stuck in my throat."  Sally said you mean pecans.  Zach replied "pecans peacocks sounds the same and are the same thing."  Kaity said "Zach next time you should get what I have there are no peacocks in mine."  A couple seconds later "Oh, I have peacocks in mine too." then there was a pause "I am kidding I have no peacocks in mine."  and finished her ice cream while Zachary stared at her.  

A Father's Day Tribute

The kids and I have decided to hijack Bill's blog for Father's Day.  Bill hates it when I get all sappy on him so I won't.  The kids all wanted to contribute to this post.  Not sure where this will lead but it will be interesting to find out.  Wondering if any of them will use this opportunity to get him back for all the embarrassing things he has shared with the world.  


Tomorrow we will be celebrating Father's Day by showering Bill will attention, food, and gifts.  However, I think it's more important to let him know how we feel about him. Thanks to Bill, in our family I have the advantage of being a stay at home mom. I am usually the one who gets credited for all the good things in our children's life, yet Bill is the one who makes it all possible.  I am the one who is able to hear all the thank yous when I am buying them their the things because Bill hands over his pay check to me. I am the one with the cash while he is one with an empty wallet. I am the one who makes the kids happy when I tell them they can play outside with their bikes, toys and swing set, while it was Bill who spent hours assembling everything. I am the best mom in the world when I take them places while Bill is hard at work.  I am the one who they usually run to when they get hurt or sick because I am the one that is always with them because Bill puts in a lot of extra hours at work so the kids can have me home with them.  I am the one that complains the kids don't appreciate anything I do yet he is the one that never gets the credit.  He is the one that comes home from a long day at work and is expected to listen to all of our complaints,comfort us, fix everything, and not to be to tired to help us and put up with our demands and do it all with a smile.  I just wanted to let everyone know how lucky I am to have such an overworked, under appreciated, under paid, over burdened, and tired husband.  Thank you Bill.  
Thoughts from Kaitlyn. age 4
(typed out by Sally but the exacts words directly out of Kaity's mouth)


Dad, thank you for. I love you but I don't want you to be mean to me because I am special.  Umm  I love you. I love to kiss and hug you.  I will buy you something tomorrow for your birthday and lots of flowers too.  You have lots of birthdays like me. I want to give the turtles a way.  I want a dog.  Daddy you are special because you always love me.  My baby dolls don't like it when you are mean to me.  I like when you take me on bike rides and for ice cream cones.  You don't take me for books any more.  You help me to be good. I love you but I don't know your name dad.  Umm I love you!  Dear God help my dad be OK.  


Thoughts by Zacharyage 9
(written by Zachary himself)
DAD! YOU   ARE SPECIAL.Don"t lisstin  to  katilyn  about the turtle. you likes the turtle.I love you dad. (OK that took Zachary 45 minutes to type.  He takes after his father.  I am going to help the poor kid out and type while he talks my ears off)   Umm dad you always take me turtle hunting.  ummm Dad you are really special because you play football with me. You buy me toys when my mom tells you not to like the battle droid. You are a special person because you have cancer and you play with me still.  You are funny.  You umm  give me a second.  Oh yeah you take me to the turtle pond and turtle park. You take me bird watching and my dad is special because he saw a baby bull frog and a blue pelican and two cat fish and a gold fish.  My dad has bomb (not a typo, that is what he said) fires with me. Umm You play hide and seek with me in the dark. He plays football with me.  I am really good now.  You check up on me, you buy me dairy queen.  You usually yell at me.  He helps me clean my room.  Umm He plays with me and my sister Kaitlyn.  Umm....  He has a friend name Santa Clause.  My dad sleeps with me sometimes. He takes me to Omni and other places like Indianapolis.  Dad I feel great about you.  I really love you with my whole heart.  I hope God heals you.  Sincerely, Zach. Not your only son.


Michael's thoughts or thought. age 20
Written and proof read by Michael himself.  


Where to began. I remember when i was little you made me jump in font of a bus to get Sammy Sosa's autograph but come to find out it was  never him. I remember all the times we use to play catch or the summers we spent fixing the yard and you would get mad at me cause i was so slow, not that has changed much.  I have known you for pretty much my whole life and you have taught me so much. I know I wasn't the easiest kid to raise, and i know we don't see things eye to eye, but i do love you so much and I hope I becomee just as strong as you are when I get older. You never put yourself first, you always make sure that we are taken care of, and we have food on the table. You amaze me in so many ways, and I just wanted to let you know I am very proud you, not only are you a great father, but you are also my role model. Believe it or not I do look up too you. So I just wanted to say thank for dad for being the best you can be, and for always being there for me, zach, and kaity. We love you so much and I hope today is going to be a great day for you.


Love Always,
Your Son Michael
Happy Father's Day

A Reason to Celebrate!

Sally here

Bill is at work and I want to let everyone know I just finished talking with Dr. Mboama's nurse Stacey.  The cat scan looked really good.  Much better then last time.  The S.I.R.T procedure worked and the tumors in the liver have shrunk.  There is no sign that the cancer has spread to additional areas. Thank God for the good news.  Bill honestly felt the news was going to be bad because how he his been feeling.

On another note, Bill's stomach pains continue.  I still think it's chemo related but what do I know I am not a doctor.  His oncologist called in another prescription for his stomach.  Hopefully, he will start feeling better soon.  I feel bad for him because he is miserable.  His doctor is not sure what is wrong either and is referring him to see a gastric doctor on Friday.  Hopefully it's nothing serious and they can get to the problem quickly.

Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, and support.  We wouldn't be able to get through this without it.

Blake

I met this incredible little guy tonight name Blake.  He is 8 years old and lives in the same town as me yet I haven't seen him before.  I met him at a benefit that was for him.  I didn't know much about him except that he is on the list for a kidney transplant. There were banners and signs hanging all through town for the past month.  Sally and I decided at the last moment to go with the little ones.  The nice thing is that we didn't have to go far and was able to walk down the street.

I see this little boy who was only 3-4 inches taller then Kaity.  Sally told me that was Blake.  I didn't think much about it,  After we ate, the kids wanted to play games.  While they were playing games I noticed a table that had pictures of Blake.  I decided to look at the table.  There were lots of pictures of Blake.  He looked like a normal happy kid for the most part.  There was a poster board on information and facts about children who need kidney transplants.  Then there was a poster board about Blake.  He was born with kidney problems.  He had a kidney transplant at the age of 2. The transplant failed a year later and he has been on the waiting list for a new kidney for the last 5 years.  Blake spends  11 hours a day hooked up to a dialysis machine. He goes to bed with it on and can't get out of bed until it finishes.  Blake has not grown in over 3 years.  Blake has never been able to take a bath.  Blake loves to play with his friends but he gets sad because he can't run and play like they do.  He is scared about getting another transplant. For being only 8 years old he has been through a lot more then I have. To be that young and have so many worries saddens me.

After reading all about Blake, I realized what I am going through doesn't even compared to what Blake it going through.  I have lived  my entire childhood and adulthood (until now) healthy.  The only limitations I had were the ones I created for myself.  I never gave it any thought when I took a bath or jumped in a pool or when I played tag with my friends.  I never gave it any thought when my kids did the same.  All the little things in life we take for granted not realizing how many people would love to have the chance.

I don't consider myself a person who feels sorry for himself.  I think I accepted my cancer and whatever lays ahead for me.  Of course, I hope and pray I can live to be a very grumpy old man.  But tonight, really opened my eyes.  I never realized how truly lucky I am.  I saw this brave boy who played games with his friends who looked healthy and happy.  Yet, this brave boy is much sicker than I am.  He never got to live the childhood I lived and who may not be able to live the adult life I am blessed with.  By looking at Blake you would never know what his life is like.  11 hours a day on a dialysis machine and now I feel foolish dreading the 4 hours every 2 weeks for an infusion treatments.  Plus, the take home pump I wear for the next 46 hours which I can not stand.  Now, I will be thinking about Blake and I bet Blake wishes he could have the same amount of treatment that I have in replace of what he is currently going through. When I think about I might not live to see 47 saddens me. I bet to Blake 46 seems old and if he has the chance to live to be 46 he would be so ever grateful,

 I will be praying that Blake Loudenber he will be able to receive a new kidney soon.  That he will some day be able to know what it is to live a normal life.  I pray that Blake lives a long full life even if it's only to be a 46 year old man. Tonight really put my life in perspective and made me a humble man once again.

My Update on Me

Just a little post to let everyone know I am doing well for the most part.  I am working a little less due to production at work has slowed down.  Right now I am on 8 hour shift and I have the weekends off.  Which is nice but a little worried since the overtime will not be there.


Health wise I am good.  Except, for stomach pains I have been experiencing.  The pains are hard to explain.  Sort of feels like the gas pains I had experienced after the surgeries but not quite as severe.  It worries me that the cancer may have spread. My chemo meds has changed so it could be do to that as well.  I mentioned it today at chemo.  Dr. Mboama thinks it's because of the chemo and told me to take GasX.  However, he must have some concerns because he wants me to go for a CT-scan A.S.A.P.  So, tomorrow at 2:30 I will be having one done. The ct will also show if the SIRT procedure I had done in March worked. Now the fun of waiting for the results begin.  The waiting is so cruel.


Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts.  I so desperately need a good CT reading or I am doomed. 


God Bless and Take Care
Bill

Sexy's Back

I am doing well.  I am experiencing some of the side effects from chemotherapy.  I am having a lot of muscle cramping, sensitivity in my feet and hands, and loosing my hair. Now I have an excuse for my bald spot.  Actually, the bald spot isn't as noticeable now since I have a lot less hair.  Earlier this month, I started to loose my hair in clumps. I was at work and felt something on my face.  Went to brush it away and saw a huge clump of hair.  Took a shower that night and hair covered the tub.  It was surprising since it's been over 2 years of being on chemo and I figured I would have lost my hair by them.  I will admit I was upset.  The next day, Sally suggest either I have my head shaved or get my hair cut really short.  I went that evening and had my hair cut really really short.  I felt a lot better when I looked in the mirror and saw a sexy man looking back at me.

I am still working out but I have put on a couple of pounds.  With Easter, birthdays, Zach's First Communion, etc.. it's been challenging to be "good". I had an appointment with my family doctor.  I have high cholesterol and went in for a recheck which required another lipid profile. It was  high.  Normally, I would be scared and be good for a few weeks and Sally would be on my case yelling at me.  I know I am at risk of having a heart attack.  Actually, that isn't scary considering I have cancer.  If I had a massive heart attack and died instantly (like my dad at age 40) would be a lot better then having a long painful death because of cancer.  Sally doesn't it see it the same way.  She made a comment that I am fighting so hard to beat cancer yet I am eating myself to death.  Which proves that she like to see me suffer from living without my favorite high fatty foods, and that she would rather have me be tortured by a long agonizing death.  I need to rethink the notion that Sally loves me and so should you.

It's time again for me to have the Cat scan.  I am scared to death (ironic isn't it) knowing that after this scan or a scan down the road, I might be hearing "Sorry Bill, we did all that we could do."  I believe in miracles and I know modern medicine will not be enough to save me.  So there are two things I am going to do before I schedule my scan.  The first thing I am going to have Father Rookey pray over me.  http://frrookeyicm.org/

He has prayed for me  a couple of times in the past.  I always feel at peace after talking with him.

I recently was told about a shrine in Green Bay, Wisconsin, which is the only shrine in the United State which has documented miracles.http://www.shrineofourladyofgoodhelp.com/ Since it is a long drive, I am hoping we can be able to scrounge up a few dollars and be able to make it a mini vacation with the kids. A one night stay at a hotel with a pool would be fun since the little one never has spend the night at a hotel.  We planned on taking the drive last weekend but it rained all weekend. Hopefully, sometime in the next 2 weeks we can take the drive.

That's it for now.  I just finished day one of eight days of work in a row.  At least next week the shift are not the usual 12 hour shift.

Thank you for your continuing support and prayers. I really appreciate it.
God Bless,
Bill

All about Zach

I have been working on this post in my mind for months.  I wanted to write this in March but with everything else going on I didn't get the chance.  My little pumpkin turned 9 on March 7th.  In the past 9 years he never ceases to amaze me.  He has many of my qualities (not sure if that's a good thing) my charm, my ruggedly good looks, my love for food, my fascination with nature, my fast running skills (only difference is I was a fast runner/Zachary thinks he is a fast runner even though, sorry Zach but when you run I think your going backwards), the love of reading and the ability to make weird noises and I'm not talking about from his orifices. That is a whole different ball of wax there.  He has some of Sally in him as well.  His pickiness when it comes to meat, the washing of the hands obsessions, and his excessive talking,  That most definitely comes from my wife.  I probably shouldn't have said that though, But Man yada yada yada

Zachary has two loves in life, 3 if you count eating.  His two loves are turtles and Star Wars.  Either one of those topics he can spend hours non-stop on a one sided conversation going on and on about them..  Oh and the questions he ask?  Some questions are intelligent for example "Dad what was the first living turtle in the United States" and then he can ask the most annoying questions like "Dad who is your favorite clone trooper?".  Then there are the questions he ask which makes me want to hide under a rock a stay there until all the smoke clears.  Such as while he was preparing to make the Sacrament of Confession and there was a meeting with the kids and Father Keith.  Father Keith asked them if they had any questions and Zachary was one of the  first to hold up his hand.  I was waiting for my son to ask an intelligent question that would have Father Keith taken back. So I am sitting there with Sally and thinking, everyone my child is going to speak, silence please. We were waiting in anticipation as if EF Hutton himself was going to speak. Here it comes people, quiet please and then we heard a little voice ask "Did anything ever fall on your head?"  Father Keith looked at Zach what seemed like an hour but was actually 30 seconds. He answered with a quick "No not that I could remember". "Next question"  Why he asked it?  I am still not sure.  The fact that he asked it puzzles me  more.

 He is always thinking.  One day while we were in the car Sally asked him "If you were left all alone on a Island and the only living thing you could eat were bugs, would you eat them or starve to death?"  First Zachary said he would eat the grass and Sally said there is no grass to eat only sand .  Zachary thought for a second and said "I will eat my boogers then".  Most of the time he is quick witted and doesn't even realize it.

The sound effects that kid can produce are amazing.  I am determined to push Sally to figure out how to post a clip of Zach making the dolphin sound.  He sounds just like a dolphin.  At least to me he does.

The serious side of Zachary
 Yes he can be serious. I never met a child or an adult for that matter who will stop what they are doing when an ambulance goes by to pray.  He has often had everyone in the car pray with him when  we see an ambulance.  I am usually to busy looking to see what is going on to even think about praying and there is Zach in the back seat with his hands folded praying.  I went to pick him up from school and I parked towards the back and he didn't see the car.  I was able to see him though.  I sat in the car, laughing  and watching him while listening to the jams on the radio.  He looked around and after he didn't see me he made the sign of cross and folded his hands and I could see he was praying.  I felt bad to made him worry like that so I made my presence shown. I asked him what he was praying for and he said he was worried something had happened because I was late.  Several times I have seen him on his knees praying when I walked past his room.

My mother in law asked him one day if he thought about being a priest.  Zach replied he didn't want to be a priest because he wanted to get married and have kids some day.  He said he wanted kids because he didn't want to be left alone when he got older.  The thing about me having cancer, it makes my kids live in a world of uncertainty.  It's not like we tell them everything but it's hard to hide the fact that I have cancer especially when I am gone a lot for treatment and wear a chemo pump around.  Sally and I both try not to burden them with details and only tell as much information that is needed or asked. However, it's hard for a child not to think about death knowing there parent is ill.  He fears that everyone is going to die. Sometimes when Michael is out Zachary will tell Sally he has bad feeling Michael is going to get in an accident and die.  Often when Sally is gone he cries because he is afraid something bad has happened to her.  He cries the most of the time fearing his mom is going to die. I am like wait a minute I am the one that is dying here not her.  It breaks my heart to see him sad and to worry.  It's a lot for a little one to have to endure and that hurts me that I am not able to protect him against that.  A parent is suppose to make their kids feel safe and as a parent I can't.  That is one of the things that suck about cancer.

Zachary when you get older and are reading this I want you to know that I love you very much.  I am proud to have you as my son.  You remind me so much of me.  Sometimes when you are sleeping I just want to go up to you and squeeze you. I love that you are such a happy kid. I love to hear you sing as you go about your business.  I love that you are so loveable even at that age of 9, you still want to give your old dad hugs and kisses and cuddle up on the couch with me. I love that you are always thinking and challenging me with your question.  Whatever you do, do not change yourself to make someone else happy.  Do not let what a person says to you or do to you to defy yourself. Do not be follower but be a leader. You are strong enough to be a leader.  Always ask questions and challenge yourself. Never stop dreaming and go after your dreams. Always trust in God.  Most importantly remember your dad always loved you and always will love you no matter what.