Friday, June 3, 2011


I met this incredible little guy tonight name Blake.  He is 8 years old and lives in the same town as me yet I haven't seen him before.  I met him at a benefit that was for him.  I didn't know much about him except that he is on the list for a kidney transplant. There were banners and signs hanging all through town for the past month.  Sally and I decided at the last moment to go with the little ones.  The nice thing is that we didn't have to go far and was able to walk down the street.

I see this little boy who was only 3-4 inches taller then Kaity.  Sally told me that was Blake.  I didn't think much about it,  After we ate, the kids wanted to play games.  While they were playing games I noticed a table that had pictures of Blake.  I decided to look at the table.  There were lots of pictures of Blake.  He looked like a normal happy kid for the most part.  There was a poster board on information and facts about children who need kidney transplants.  Then there was a poster board about Blake.  He was born with kidney problems.  He had a kidney transplant at the age of 2. The transplant failed a year later and he has been on the waiting list for a new kidney for the last 5 years.  Blake spends  11 hours a day hooked up to a dialysis machine. He goes to bed with it on and can't get out of bed until it finishes.  Blake has not grown in over 3 years.  Blake has never been able to take a bath.  Blake loves to play with his friends but he gets sad because he can't run and play like they do.  He is scared about getting another transplant. For being only 8 years old he has been through a lot more then I have. To be that young and have so many worries saddens me.

After reading all about Blake, I realized what I am going through doesn't even compared to what Blake it going through.  I have lived  my entire childhood and adulthood (until now) healthy.  The only limitations I had were the ones I created for myself.  I never gave it any thought when I took a bath or jumped in a pool or when I played tag with my friends.  I never gave it any thought when my kids did the same.  All the little things in life we take for granted not realizing how many people would love to have the chance.

I don't consider myself a person who feels sorry for himself.  I think I accepted my cancer and whatever lays ahead for me.  Of course, I hope and pray I can live to be a very grumpy old man.  But tonight, really opened my eyes.  I never realized how truly lucky I am.  I saw this brave boy who played games with his friends who looked healthy and happy.  Yet, this brave boy is much sicker than I am.  He never got to live the childhood I lived and who may not be able to live the adult life I am blessed with.  By looking at Blake you would never know what his life is like.  11 hours a day on a dialysis machine and now I feel foolish dreading the 4 hours every 2 weeks for an infusion treatments.  Plus, the take home pump I wear for the next 46 hours which I can not stand.  Now, I will be thinking about Blake and I bet Blake wishes he could have the same amount of treatment that I have in replace of what he is currently going through. When I think about I might not live to see 47 saddens me. I bet to Blake 46 seems old and if he has the chance to live to be 46 he would be so ever grateful,

 I will be praying that Blake Loudenber he will be able to receive a new kidney soon.  That he will some day be able to know what it is to live a normal life.  I pray that Blake lives a long full life even if it's only to be a 46 year old man. Tonight really put my life in perspective and made me a humble man once again.


  1. How incredibly compassionate of you Bill. You are truly a good soul. Will be keeping little Blake in my prayers, too. Barbara

  2. Totally agree with you on the 5-FU pump. Hated that sucker with a passion! Would forget it was there when I got up in the middle of the night only to have the dang thing drag off the side of the bed and trip me up! Ugg. Glad to hear you got a good report after the CT scan! Amen to that!