The End Of The Rope

Today, Bill had an appointment with the oncologist to discuss what to do now. We knew that the tumor in the colon tested positive for the K-ras mutation. We were aware that means Bill is not a candidate to receive the chemo therapy drug Cetuximab. What caught both of us completely off guard was when Dr. Mboma told us this is the end of the rope. Which means, if the new chemo therapy treatment (which Bill begins April 7th) doesn't work, there is no more chemotherapy drugs for him to try. The only option would be to go to Chicago and participate in a trial study.

I wanted to cry. I am sure Bill wanted to do the same. But of course, we covered the tears up with humor. Dr. Mboma told Bill he can go back to the health club but he needs not to push himself so much. Sounds like Bill resembled the picture below from what Dr. Mboma described.

Which is funny because Bill described Dr. Mboam much differently.

We always see Dr. Mboama wearing a button down shirt, a tie, and often a jacket. He is a tall slender man. He kind of looks like the below picture minus the suspenders and the glasses and he isn't a nerd.

The way Bill described him he was built. I wouldn't know because Dr. Mboama wouldn't take off his shirt and tie for me. I can only imagine. But seeing him with his shirt and tie, one wouldn't know he was buffed. So I will just imagine him looking like this.

After we left, all I wanted to do was run away. If we had the means, I would gather all my babies and Bill too, and drive off into the sunset and leave the computers and phones behind. Go somewhere where we do not have to worry about the bills, house repairs, medical expenses, cancer,laundry. school, people being mean to the kids, etc... Just the 5 of us without a care in the world having fun and enjoying each others company and making life long memories.

We did the second best thing. We gathered the two little ones (since Michael was no where to be found) got in the car and drove to Baker Square for free pie Wednesday. It was good to see the kids silly and happy.

Now that's a face only a mother could love.

Then the pie arrived and there were more smiles.

And just for a few moments, life was exactly what it is suppose to be like.

Smelling Like A Rose

Sally here.  Just a quick update.  Bill is doing amazingly well.  He never ceases to surprise me.  Usually after the SIRT, the patient is usually in a lot of pain or has nausea really bad.  Bill has some pain but not enough to use the pain medication.  No nausea.  Another side effect is dead tiredness and Bill is tired but he is still functional.  I think half the reason he is tired is because he wakes up every 2 hours to use the bathroom which is contributed to the steroids he is taking.  He went to work today and worked the usual 12 hour shift. We both know all of this is only possible because of everyone who is praying for him.

Unfortunately, Bill did test positive for the KRAS mutation.  Even though it's not the news that we had hoped for, we know it's not the end. He will still receive chemo treatments and I am going to aggressively research the web and hopefully there are more options that we are not aware of.  Bill of course, has handled the latest set back in good spirits.

He has an appointment with the oncologist on Wednesday.  Treatment will be discussed.  Plus I am going to walk in with a notebook full of questions to ask.  Bill is also going to ask to be released from light duty from work.

I know we wouldn't be where we are today without all the support, prayers and love we are surrounded by.  Thanks everyone.

The Backside View

Today Bill had the selective internal radiation treatment done to the liver at UIC.  It went very well.  We will know in 2 to 3 months if the procedure killed the tumors in the liver.  So far, Bill is fairing well.  He is not nauseated and the pain is minimal so far.  It is not unusual for pain and nausea after this procedure.  Maybe tomorrow he will be feeling the effects.  Because of the radiation, he needs to stay away from the little ones for the next week.  He can hug them but they are not allowed to sit on his lap.  He needs to stay 3 feet away from them and do not spend no more than 2 hours with them at a time.  It is going to be hard but he will be going back to work on Sunday which will help with the situation.  Another side effect he might have to deal with is major fatigue.  He is on steroids to help combat the fatigue. He was told the fatigue lasts for about 2 weeks.  Hopefully, it won't be so bad for him.  Right now him and Zachary are having a contest on who can snore the loudest.  Bill is in the lead.  I need to add ear plugs to my shopping list.

I know it's Bill's blog but I thought it would be different to show my perceptive.  Today, I spent 12 hours at the hospital with Bill and I wanted to share a little about my day.  Instead of making it all about Bill's day.

We arrived at the hospital around 7am.  At 10:30 they began the SIRT on Bill and he was finished at noon.  I sat in the waiting room by myself bored.

When we went back to the room, I was sent on a food room.  I had the privilege of looking and smelling all the delicious hospital food.  How someone can eat that food day in and day out baffles me. I can barely tolerate it for a day.  I then had to go to the gift shop to get the rest of the food items (candy) that were on his list.  One good thing that came out of it, I met a lady on the elevator and she gave me a menu for a local restaurant that has good food.  Hopefully, we will never have to go back to UIC again, but if so I am bringing the menu.

I get back to the room and help Bill with his food since he had to lay almost flat.  First, was the liquid tray.  Then we the regular tray. I had to cut up his turkey and butter his role. He also had a grilled cheese sandwich, peaches and cottage cheese,stuffing, green beans, and a yogurt banana smoothie.  I was thinking the entire time. this resembles nothing of a liquid diet he was told to be on to help prevent him from getting nauseated
and vomiting everywhere. 
After that he watched TV and slept.  He rattled the room with his snoring.

Once again, I was bored.  So I decided to paint my nails since it's rare to be able to paint them and not move long enough for them to dry at home. I recently discovered a new brand on nail polish called Zoya.  It stays

on longer and is safer then other brands. 

I realized there was a beautiful window view from the room.  I stared out, while he snored away.


Ester, the nurse practitioner, came in the room to check on Bill and woke him up.  She talked to us for awhile and shortly later Bill was able to sit op and move around.  Ester asked Bill what he wanted for dinner.  He told her to surprise him.  So he waited with anticipation for his dinner surprise.  And he was surprised.
Publish Post

A liquid diet is not what he had in mind.  So I was off to down stair for another food run. In the mean time he took over my chair and watched more TV.  I got the pleasure of watching court shows all day.


The  joys of the cafeteria.  Reminds me of high school but I think the food in high school was a tad better.  Then another trip to the gift shop for more candy.

Bill cramming down a hot dog.  He couldn't have a Snickers until he ate his hot dog.

Then we sat some more while he watched TV and slept some more.
 
When he did wake up again, I managed to make him him a little agitated but I can't remember exactly what I did.


I think that was when I told him the gift shop closed and there would be no more candy runs.

I also saw a lot of this.


Unfortunately. I think a lot of people got to see that.  His gown was on the shorter side as well.  So there was a lot of front exposure too.  I would have taken a picture of it but I was afraid Bill would lose all of his blog fans.  Plus, there were enough pictures taken of that area for a medical publication in Brazil. I hope Bill is enjoying his sleep while I am taking pleasure of being a good wife and writing a post for him.

I meant well.

Not sure why, but Sally is still steaming over yesterday's blog.  I think it's the blog or maybe it's the subtle comments I made about her driving through out the weekend and today and probably again tomorrow.  Either way, I am in the dog house.  

I tried making it up to her and I washed laundry.  I even folded and put them alway. Not necessarily in that order.  She just glared.  I even did all the running around today for her and she stayed in her wonderful sleeping attire and played on the computer all day, a typical day.  So, I am hoping by outing myself in which it will be humilitating to myself, I can earn Sally's love back.  I really need to by Thursday.  I don't want her to be mad and therefor mean to me then.  Thursday, will be the day I will be having the SIRT done.  I have to be at UIC at 6:30 a.m. in the morning. There isn't anything worse than a bunch of women, most of witch ( I wonder if she'll notice the spelling) can do some major damage to my delicate area and make it look like an accident. 

The other day Sally and I went out to dinner at Cracker Barrell with the 2 youngsters.  Dinner actually went well.   There were no spilled drinks, no cries, no foods spots on clothes and no child falling off their chair. That's because Michael our 20 year old was at work.  At the very end Kaity says "I have to go poo-poo", "DADDY POO POO"! Say it louder sweetheart cause I don't think the people at the visiters center heard. Sally was still eating and wasn't feeling well because she donated blood earlier that day, how convenient I thought to myself( I think to myself a lot, its safer that way).  I was finished eating so I reluctantly volunteered to take her to the bathroom. We walked into the washroom.  I got her all situated on the toliet.  I decided maybe I should try to winkie myself.  I looked and thought it was quite  odd their were no urinals in the bathroom. Well anyway,  I did what I needed to do.  Washed my hands and waited for Kaity to do her thing.  I could hear her working really hard by her grunts, in between her beautiful singing. Still thinking the whole time about the lack of urinals. that must be something new that some places must be trying out in mens latrines.  I noticed a machine on the wall and walked to it to check it out. Noticed two buttons on it with some wording. Because of the chemo my eyesight isn't what it should be. I looked a little closer at the buttons and saw that it said Tampons and the other one said sanitary napkins. I than thought why would a mens washroom have ooooooooohhhhhh heeeelll no!   It was a machine for the ladies. I quicky exited to look at the door.  I stared at it for a few seconds to make sure it actually had W-O-M-E-N on the door and not M-E-N.

 I could have sworn it read MEN. I was so embarrassed I stayed outside the door.  I poundered how I could do such a thing.  I know I have done some silly things in my life but this takes the cake.  There is no way.  I saw MEN on the door. I didn't see the WO before it. I know my eyes are bad because of chemo but not that bad.  It dawned on me that I saw the writing around the corner.  Which is clearly the reason why I didn't see the WO before the MEN.  Plus, I was rushed by Kaitlyn so I didn't have a chance to double check but why would I.  It said MEN and I am more then capable of reading bathroom signs.  At least that is what I thought at the time.  I know now I need to check and double check before entering a public restroom.  I was in the ladies' washroom for almost 15 minutes.  If a lady or worse an older lady with a big heavy purse I would have been toast. At that point I felt like a Marshmallow at a smores convention. I could have even been arrested for being a creepers.  I was glad there wasn't anybody in there when I first brought her in.

 It seemed like it took Sally hours to finish that little bit that was left on her plate. I knew she did it purposely.  I would have done the same.  Who loves taking their kids to a public bathroom and to go "poo-poos" on top of that. . I never leave my kids in the bathroom by themselves. I Felt this was  exception, besides nobody was in there when I walked out with my tail between my legs. As I stood waiting, Sally finally shows up.  She was a little perturbed to say the least.  She started yelling at me for leaving Kaity in a guys bathroom alone.  She said she couldn't believe how ignorant I was and something bad could have happened to her.  I tried to tell her something bad could have happened to me if I stayed but she didn't stop talking long enough for me to say a word.  When I was finally able to calm her down, she saw my arm up and finger pointed to the ladie's room.  Then she took over the situation for a whole 3 minutes.  Walked out of the washroom, asked for the car keys, said she was getting dizzy, and walked away.  Leaving me scratching my head and praying Kaitlyn wouldn't need any assistance." Thanks for the help Honey"!!!!

Oops I did it again.  I really tried to wright a blog that embarrassed me, myself.  But I love my wife so much, it's so hard not to include her in my ramblings.  I don't think I did a very good job of redeeming myself, probably made it worse.

Oh, I'm going to end this now before I dig more holes. Thanks for all the prayers and support. God bless you all.

The Truth is Revealed at Last

 plus       equals  

                                                                                                              

There are always three sides of a story.  His, hers, and the truth. I am not saying that Sally's post was a lie.  It's the way she perceived the day.  I am here today not to give your my view or perception of the day on Friday March 19th, 2011, but the truth and nothing but the truth.

Sally did leave out some important information regarding that day.  Of course, she did not mention the elevator incident.  The incident that involved an elevator, my wife, and a lady in a wheel chair.  The only reason why I know this happened because Sally walked into the hospital room all flustered and told me what happened. All I could do was shake my head at her and laugh.  While I was laughing she sternly told me it's not blog material.  She forgets it's MY blog and I am the one that's in control  here.  She may wear the pants in the house but when it comes to MY blog I wear the pants, although they are a little ripped and wrinkled half the time.

Back to the elevator.  Sally was the one that wanted the food.  She was the one that kept going for the food.  I ate it so it wouldn't go to waste but she was the one who wanted the hot dogs, french fries, mozzarella cheese sticks  Snickers candy bar and the tea to wash it all down with..  I was perfectly content with my clear liquid tray that was waiting for me. Especially the chicken broth, that brings back fond memories of my Colonascopy.  After one of her food runs, she walked into the room and her face was all red.  I asked her what was wrong.  She began telling me that a lady held the evaluator door open for her.  The lady was in a wheel chair. She then told me that she asked the lady what floor she wanted and Sally pushed 7 for her which was the same floor I was on.  The elevator stopped on 7 and that is when Sally found out the lady wanted to get off on floor 2 and not 7( I really think Sally knew the truth).  I could just imagine what the lady was thinking.  Here she struggles in her wheel chair to hold the door open for Sally.  Sally pushes the wrong floor for her (Probably on purpose).  So she had to go up an extra 5 floors before she had to go back down 5 floors to get to where she wanted.  I don't blame her if she never helps someone out again.

Sally also fail to add the numerous times she unplugged the sound for the TV or the numerous times she accidentally pushed the call button.  OK I did accidentally push the call button once but my wife did it so many time I lost count( again I believe her to be a on purpose pusher).After about the 8th time they responded I told Sally ssshhhhh maybe they will go away.They must of heard me go ssshhhh and Sally giggling, now the MAY WE HELP YOU was louder. So thinking that Sally was giggling and someone had to be the mature one I said" Sally tell the lady what you want." Her giggling quickly halted and that was replaced with a look that said "%^&;$##&!@#;&)*p;$%. So I had to say sorry Ma'am my wife pushed the button again. Her look didn't improve.   By the end of the day I felt we were "Bill's & Sally's Comedy Act" on the road. 

As for her driving, if the cancer doesn't kill me her driving will. She couldn't decide if she wanted to go fast , slow or even faster. She asked me if her driving makes me nervous." I just told her if this is my time to go it's my time to go". She really didn't like that comment to much cause she told me if she was that bad that she would have our 20 yr. old son Micheal drive me next time. My fear turned to tears and I had no choice but to apologize and write 50 times that," You are the best driver on the road".

I want mention that I am still doing good. Just a little tired and sore. As of now I will be having the SIRT procedure on Thursday but, that may change if they weren't able to get the radiation beads. Then it will be next week. Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes , it makes me feel good with all the support that I have  received.

He's Back

We are back home from University of Illinois at Chicago. In spite or despite my driving.  Bill is giving me a complex about my driving because of his comment on facebook.  I spent all day with him.  Making sure he was well taken care of and this is the thanks he gave me. What a guy.


Today, went well for Bill.  Of course, it is rare for Bill to go anywhere without causing laughs and making a scene or two or even three. Today he didn't fail himself. He began by putting the hospital gown on wrong.  It was already tied in the back and he was told to slip the ties around his neck.  This is proof Bill doesn't listen.  He didn't slip the ties around his neck and instead the tie that is suppose to be in the back was around the front part of his neck. It looked like he was being choked. He didn't realize anything was wrong until I started laughing at him.  After that was fixed, he was carted off to the holding room.  I followed to give him moral support, hold his hand, and to wipe the tears and sweat away from his face.  The nurses explained the procedure to him once again to make sure he understood what was going to happen. He cringed every time someone would remind him the procedure was going to be performed through his groin. After, they were done talking to him he said to me in a serious tone, "If you hear a bunch of laughter coming from the room you know they started on me". The nurses heard and started to laugh. The more the nurse talked about it, the redder his face got.  He managed to embarrass himself this time.  During the procedure he wouldn't fall asleep. When more medication was administer to sedate him, his blood pressure dropped.  I think he was seriously afraid he would be laughed at when they looked at this groin so he fought to stay awake. 

After it was all over, he had to spend the next 6 hours laying flat.  He still managed his clownish ways and made the nurses laugh.  He asked one if she was married because she put sugar in his tea for him.  Made it sound like I do nothing for him.  Even, though he kept sending me down stairs to buy him food.  I just realized something.  Maybe he wasn't hungry, he just sent me away so he could flirt more. 


Like I said earlier, he is doing well.  He has a little discomfort which is normal. He can't drive until Sunday and is not able to lift anything that is more than 5 pounds.  No pushing or pulling either.  Let's see if he will listen.  I am willing to make a wager that he will not.  We were told that they were able to map out the veins that lead directly to the tumors.The doctor feels confident that the SIRT will work.  He is scheduled to have it done on March 24, unless they are not able to get the radiation spheres by then. 

Hopefully, Bill will be able to write a post over the weekend.  I am sure he will have a thing or two to say about this post.  However, I am only saying the truth and it's not fair to his blog followers to omit information even if it does make Bill look like a goof.He is what he is and he is loved for that.

Sally

Angiogram in the Morning

Bill is slaving over the fish tank as I am sitting here writing this post.  


Yesterday, he went to UIC to speak to a doctor about the next steps into treating the cancer in the liver.  For the most part, we understood what was going to happen because of the visit we had in November. The doctor wanted to act quickly so Bill can resume the chemo treatments as soon as possible.  We appreciate his concern.  Yesterday, all the paper work was faxed to the insurance company and today (in the later part of the afternoon) his nurse called me.  The insurance company had approved everything and Bill will be at the UIC 6:30 in the morning tomorrow.  He will be having an angiogram.  This is done to map the veins to his liver.  The procedure it self isn't very long but he will have to lie flat and still for 6 hours following it. 


Next week he will go back to have the SIRT procedure done.  This is where radiation beads are injected directly into the tumors.  This too should be an outpatient procedure.


Bill has this weekend off from work and should be able to go back to work on Tuesday.  He will be on light duty for 2 weeks since he will not be able to lift anything that is over 5 pounds.  This is why he is cleaning out the aquarium now.  Two turtles can become smelly after awhile.


I know everyone has been praying for us and we really appreciate it. Bill is doing amazingly well.  It's hard on him having all the medical stuff dictate his life.  Hopefully, next week we will get the results back for the KRAS mutation and after that life will go back to a new normal state whatever that will be.  

A huge blow

Bill had a routine CT scan done on Monday. This time we were not nervous about the results. As long as he is on chemo, we knew everything was going to be OK. At the very worse, the tumors were not shrinking as quickly as we would like. It was a change from the last time. The last time, I received a phone call 3 days prior to his chemo treatment saying the doctor needed to talk to us about the CT results. Of course, they wouldn’t say about what. So for three days we worried. I tried not telling Bill about the call but I couldn't stop crying and I was worrying him. Not knowing and worrying about the results is dreadful. Especially, when you know the results are bad and you are in the doctor’s office waiting for a long time for the doctor to walk through the door. The anticipation is unbearable and the worst case of scenario goes running through your mind. Hearing the “bad” news has been easier to handle then the waiting for the results.

This morning I woke up thinking positive thoughts. Bill was scheduled for chemo and had an appointment to see the oncologist. Bill was at work and I was just about to get ready and the phone ring. It was the nurse asking where Bill had his surgeries at. Of course she said she didn’t know anything but I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I tried to act like nothing was wrong when I saw Bill. He went to have the infusion first. The nurse started the IV and the doctor walked into the room and said he needed to talk to us and told the nurse to stop treatment. My stomach fell and I could tell Bill was very concerned. Chewing on his nails is always a given sign when he is upset or worried.

We were moved to an office and didn’t have to wait long for Doctor Mboama. As soon as he walked through the door and by the look of his face we knew it was bad. We just didn’t realize at that point how bad it was. He said that the 2 tumors in the liver had grown. Then the nurse came in the room and told the doctor he had a phone call. He stepped out and left us hanging. Which I could tell he was relented to do but I knew the phone call must have been important. When he came back he told us the tumors have doubled in size and that there are 1 or 2 more additional tumors in the liver. The cancerous lymph node has grown as well and there are 2 more cancerous lymph nodes now.

Usually, the doctor will give us a couple of options to choose from. This time he did not. He said he knows that we have young children and he is going to act aggressive and as quickly as possible. First step is to have the tumor that was removed from the colon tested to see if the cells are genetically mutated or non-mutated. If it’s non-mutated there is a new chemotherapy drug that will be used. If it’s mutated the chances of him beating this is not as high. It takes about 2 weeks to get the results.

The second step will be going back to UIC and have the SIRT procedure to the liver. http://www.umgcc.org/sir-spheres/about_sirt.htm He will have this as soon as possible, since he has to be off chemo for a month. With the 2 weeks wait for the other test result, doctor thought this would be the best time to have it done.

The third step is to wait for the test results so a new chemotherapy regiment can begin. Obviously the chemo pills, Xeloda, did not work. So Bill will have to go back to 5-fu which means he will be wearing the portable pump again. Which of course Bill is not happy about. He didn’t complain about it and the doctor said it’s his only chance for survival. He was also told he will have more side effects. Basically, he was told he is going to be feeling like crap.

Right now, we are trying to absorb everything. It’s terrifying news but the doctor still remains optimistic and so are we. We will be praying for non-mutated cells and just try to live life the same way we did yesterday. Bill is amazing. I know he is scared and worried but he is trying so hard not show it. He and Kaity are at Omni while I am writing this. Which means he hasn’t given up and still determined more than ever to beat this.