Thursday, April 8, 2010

It sounded like a freight train!

Today I had chemo and for the most part it went very well and a lot better than last time. I just feel a little tired and that is mostly because I was up longer than I should have been. So I am really relieved that it should be less harsher than last time.I need to work on my sleeping habits to get the full rest that I need. I feel that I need to do stuff with the family. Sally and I like to watch movies when the kids go to sleep and sometimes it's not as early as we would like it to be. Kaity will be in her feisty mood and jump on me and have me throw her around the house for awhile, or spin her in circles. After doing that I really need to sit for awhile. I sometimes have a real hard time dealing with that fatigue that I feel. Just over a year ago I was able to run around and have fun with the kids without all of the tiredness. Sometimes I really feel useless and alone. It's not that I am and Sally is a really good wife who makes me feel wanted. It's just that I can't get use to the way I was to how I am now. I know I shouldn't feel this way but, this is what this blog is all about, my feelings and thoughts. I really can't help the way I feel. This is the reason I don't like to be alone. I start to think to much about things and the what ifs. I will never ever really be out of the woods completely. And I know this and that is why I think a lot about my family and especially my kids and what my kids will be when they grow up. I know this sounds depressing and I am sorry for that but like I have said don't let me be alone to think about things. That is why I am glad that I have some of the craziest and goofiest kids in the world. They really help me keep my mind off of things that I shouldn't be thinking about. So I am not really taking this as good as people think. When you have great kids and a wonderful wife it puts things in a different perspective. Sorry didn't mean whine and go off in a tangent. Now for the stars of this blog, Sally and the Zach .

Yesterday I was hearing some strange noises coming from our hallway. I really wasn't sure what it was. It sounded like a train going though the house. I decided to get up and investigate the noise. It took me about a second to get to the end of the hallway. We have a small house that is as big as a small cardboard box to a medium size cardboard box give or take a cardboard box , but hey it's my cardboard box. Anyway I looked in Zach's room and noticed that his covers were moving up and down over his body and every once in awhile they would flutter at his head. I looked closer and noticed that he was the noise maker. The walls started to crack because of the vibration. I knew he must have been really exhausted to be so loud. So I left him alone but not before I pinched his cheeks,DAAAAAAAd Sorry, go back to bed.

About a week ago Sally and I were sleeping soundly. Again I hear this babble like a cross between a mouse and two quirrels fighting over a nut. I got up to hear what it was. It calmed down to a softer tone and now sounded like a Zhu Zhu pet. I looked over at Sally and it was her, having this conversation with herself in Zhu Zhu language. I didn't know what exactly to do to get her back to her native language. I knew I needed to act fast or she may start to scurry all over the bed and possible fall off and hurt herself or worse yet mistaken me for a nut,ummm never mind. So I just put my hand on her cheek softly. She wakes up and says what the ***&$$#*%% are you doing ,oh nothing.
Another time we were sleeping( a common trend here). Again a sound sleep and believe me I don't get to many nights like that, so I really value them. Sally all of a sudden bolts up and said MOTHER! I get up and stare at her wondering if there will be a encore. She turns and looks at me and says WHAT! "Nothing, Nothing at all". I asked her the next day what that was all about and she said it was a dream she had about her and her sisters. If you want to know the dream content I am sure Sally will post a comment about it if you want the details.
Yet again , I was sleeping soundly and the next thing I heard, I thought I was sleeping with one of the three stooges. Whooo whoooo whoooo wheee wheee whhhezzz. I looked over at my angelic wife and said nooooo. A man snores like that(but not me)not my very angelic wife of almost 12 years. "Sweetie Sweetie do you need something". "Sweetie Sweetie want me to get you something". "What the **%^&% do you want" she says, "oh nothing just go to bed".
I don't want anyone to think that I am making fun of Sally. It's just that I am. It's my blog and I can do what I want, besides she is a really good sport about it. I know if she really didn't want me to do it I wouldn't(maybe).
Thank you and God Bless you all.

1 comment:


    oh bill i wish i had read this blog entry last night...sadly i am running late this morning and can't respond...but i will!

    hugs and kisses to kaity and wishing her the best day ever!

    blessings and prayers to all
    get some rest bill..