Still Here and Fighting

Didn't mean to take this much time off from posting on the blog.  Life has been busy and there are so many things I want to share. Besides being busy, what has been keeping me away from writing is my health. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get the pain under control.  Once in a while I have a good day but those are far and few in between. I am always wearing pain patches and have to take pain medication as well. The pain is usually worse after I eat and in the evening.  The heating pad has become my best friend. I started to gain a little weight back. With the pain though, it has been difficult to eat and I lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks.   I have lost over 40 pounds since October.  That really does bother me. I am loosing a lot of muscle mass now and I feel like my skin is hanging.  I do not like the way I look when I look at myself in the mirror. 

I am still receiving chemotherapy bi-weekly and waiting patiently for the new chemo drug.  My oncologist seems to be optimistic it will be in March. But every month he is optimistic it will be available the next month.


It seems during the week day, we are busy with medical appointments.  As a family, we average 5 appointments a week.  This week we only have four scheduled appointments so far and they are all for Zachary.  I am happy none are for me but sad they are all for my little pumpkin. Minus the pain, life is still good and there is much happiness in my life.  I know some people think I have given up.  That is far from the truth.  I am still fighting and will not stop.  I have to.  I am not ready or willing to leave my kids.  


That's it for now.  Just wanted to let everyone know I am still alive.  
God Bless,
Bill

Film Critic

I thought I would write about a movie Sally and I watched the other night. My wife rolled her eyes when she found out what I was about to  writing about.  Just to for warn, if you continue to read this, you will have wasted 5 minutes of your life. I on the other hand will waste an hour of my short life to write this. For some reason I feel the need to share, especially since Sally said it was a bad idea.   The movie we watched was "Final Destination 5" . Sally was the one who wanted to rent it to my surprise.This movie was gory, funny, disturbing, and far fetched. So in other words I enjoyed it a lot, when I was actually  in the room watching it. You know how it is. Getting munchies , bathroom breaks, checking the kids' rooms for monsters, and getting something to drink. Not to mention looking outside for no apparent reason except to think I thought I  saw something but it was just the shadow of a car and it's lights. This happens all the time. Anyway, the plot of the movie for those who haven't seen them, is someone has a premonition of something bad to happen that will kill everyone. So to save them he tells them to leave the area of doom. Anyway, he saves them and this causes a problem with the Grimm reaper so to speak. Death was cheated at that time but those who cheated it must die.   So now the group of unlucky yuppies will have to die in the order of how they died in the premonition. . When they finally realize the order of death, a few of them have died already, and the remaining are scared to death.  Get it, scared to death lol.


They all die  in the most gruesome  unimaginable ways. Why do they have to die this gruesome way? Because sick people like me think movies like this is funny. With this sequal, there was a particular scene were people talked about the order of their demise.So a girl who's turn it was to die decides to go to the optometrist obviously to have her eyes ripped out of her head. All I know, if I was in this scenario I wouldn't go to any doctor with sharp instruments laying around for my viewing. Not to mention, a construction site with all those very heavy things hanging around that can fall and squish my head. If it were me, I would wrap myself in a 100 ft of bubble wrap.  If I couldn't find that much bubble wrap, I would jump out a window so I could die on my own terms. With my luck and how weak I have become, I would take a running start of about five feet. Instead of jumping out the the window I woud hit the window and all you would hear is a a huge dink. Not really that far fetch because I do not plan anything well.  That is Sally's department.  

If I did actually fall out the window, all that would happen is to have a few neighbors would  bust a gut from laughter.  It's not like I have very far to fall.  I could try a bedroom window which sits up a little higher. My windows on the side of my house are a few feet higher. Knowing my luck, I would only sprain my ankle as well as my ego, that's not good either. Maybe I will just sit in the corner and sit there as if I did something really bad , like writing this really stupid blog.I wrote this blog cause this movie was really awesome in a stupid movie kind of way.

I want everyone to know that I am doing OK except for the constant pretty much every day stomach pains that will happen mostly at night. So this is something a little different now. Trying different pain meds to help with levitating the pain. I blame the pain meds for this post.  I will try to post again soon A lot of exciting things are happening in the Ceiga household with in the next few weeks. I can't wait to tell.