A Father's Day Tribute

The kids and I have decided to hijack Bill's blog for Father's Day.  Bill hates it when I get all sappy on him so I won't.  The kids all wanted to contribute to this post.  Not sure where this will lead but it will be interesting to find out.  Wondering if any of them will use this opportunity to get him back for all the embarrassing things he has shared with the world.  


Tomorrow we will be celebrating Father's Day by showering Bill will attention, food, and gifts.  However, I think it's more important to let him know how we feel about him. Thanks to Bill, in our family I have the advantage of being a stay at home mom. I am usually the one who gets credited for all the good things in our children's life, yet Bill is the one who makes it all possible.  I am the one who is able to hear all the thank yous when I am buying them their the things because Bill hands over his pay check to me. I am the one with the cash while he is one with an empty wallet. I am the one who makes the kids happy when I tell them they can play outside with their bikes, toys and swing set, while it was Bill who spent hours assembling everything. I am the best mom in the world when I take them places while Bill is hard at work.  I am the one who they usually run to when they get hurt or sick because I am the one that is always with them because Bill puts in a lot of extra hours at work so the kids can have me home with them.  I am the one that complains the kids don't appreciate anything I do yet he is the one that never gets the credit.  He is the one that comes home from a long day at work and is expected to listen to all of our complaints,comfort us, fix everything, and not to be to tired to help us and put up with our demands and do it all with a smile.  I just wanted to let everyone know how lucky I am to have such an overworked, under appreciated, under paid, over burdened, and tired husband.  Thank you Bill.  
Thoughts from Kaitlyn. age 4
(typed out by Sally but the exacts words directly out of Kaity's mouth)


Dad, thank you for. I love you but I don't want you to be mean to me because I am special.  Umm  I love you. I love to kiss and hug you.  I will buy you something tomorrow for your birthday and lots of flowers too.  You have lots of birthdays like me. I want to give the turtles a way.  I want a dog.  Daddy you are special because you always love me.  My baby dolls don't like it when you are mean to me.  I like when you take me on bike rides and for ice cream cones.  You don't take me for books any more.  You help me to be good. I love you but I don't know your name dad.  Umm I love you!  Dear God help my dad be OK.  


Thoughts by Zacharyage 9
(written by Zachary himself)
DAD! YOU   ARE SPECIAL.Don"t lisstin  to  katilyn  about the turtle. you likes the turtle.I love you dad. (OK that took Zachary 45 minutes to type.  He takes after his father.  I am going to help the poor kid out and type while he talks my ears off)   Umm dad you always take me turtle hunting.  ummm Dad you are really special because you play football with me. You buy me toys when my mom tells you not to like the battle droid. You are a special person because you have cancer and you play with me still.  You are funny.  You umm  give me a second.  Oh yeah you take me to the turtle pond and turtle park. You take me bird watching and my dad is special because he saw a baby bull frog and a blue pelican and two cat fish and a gold fish.  My dad has bomb (not a typo, that is what he said) fires with me. Umm You play hide and seek with me in the dark. He plays football with me.  I am really good now.  You check up on me, you buy me dairy queen.  You usually yell at me.  He helps me clean my room.  Umm He plays with me and my sister Kaitlyn.  Umm....  He has a friend name Santa Clause.  My dad sleeps with me sometimes. He takes me to Omni and other places like Indianapolis.  Dad I feel great about you.  I really love you with my whole heart.  I hope God heals you.  Sincerely, Zach. Not your only son.


Michael's thoughts or thought. age 20
Written and proof read by Michael himself.  


Where to began. I remember when i was little you made me jump in font of a bus to get Sammy Sosa's autograph but come to find out it was  never him. I remember all the times we use to play catch or the summers we spent fixing the yard and you would get mad at me cause i was so slow, not that has changed much.  I have known you for pretty much my whole life and you have taught me so much. I know I wasn't the easiest kid to raise, and i know we don't see things eye to eye, but i do love you so much and I hope I becomee just as strong as you are when I get older. You never put yourself first, you always make sure that we are taken care of, and we have food on the table. You amaze me in so many ways, and I just wanted to let you know I am very proud you, not only are you a great father, but you are also my role model. Believe it or not I do look up too you. So I just wanted to say thank for dad for being the best you can be, and for always being there for me, zach, and kaity. We love you so much and I hope today is going to be a great day for you.


Love Always,
Your Son Michael
Happy Father's Day

A Reason to Celebrate!

Sally here

Bill is at work and I want to let everyone know I just finished talking with Dr. Mboama's nurse Stacey.  The cat scan looked really good.  Much better then last time.  The S.I.R.T procedure worked and the tumors in the liver have shrunk.  There is no sign that the cancer has spread to additional areas. Thank God for the good news.  Bill honestly felt the news was going to be bad because how he his been feeling.

On another note, Bill's stomach pains continue.  I still think it's chemo related but what do I know I am not a doctor.  His oncologist called in another prescription for his stomach.  Hopefully, he will start feeling better soon.  I feel bad for him because he is miserable.  His doctor is not sure what is wrong either and is referring him to see a gastric doctor on Friday.  Hopefully it's nothing serious and they can get to the problem quickly.

Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, and support.  We wouldn't be able to get through this without it.

Blake

I met this incredible little guy tonight name Blake.  He is 8 years old and lives in the same town as me yet I haven't seen him before.  I met him at a benefit that was for him.  I didn't know much about him except that he is on the list for a kidney transplant. There were banners and signs hanging all through town for the past month.  Sally and I decided at the last moment to go with the little ones.  The nice thing is that we didn't have to go far and was able to walk down the street.

I see this little boy who was only 3-4 inches taller then Kaity.  Sally told me that was Blake.  I didn't think much about it,  After we ate, the kids wanted to play games.  While they were playing games I noticed a table that had pictures of Blake.  I decided to look at the table.  There were lots of pictures of Blake.  He looked like a normal happy kid for the most part.  There was a poster board on information and facts about children who need kidney transplants.  Then there was a poster board about Blake.  He was born with kidney problems.  He had a kidney transplant at the age of 2. The transplant failed a year later and he has been on the waiting list for a new kidney for the last 5 years.  Blake spends  11 hours a day hooked up to a dialysis machine. He goes to bed with it on and can't get out of bed until it finishes.  Blake has not grown in over 3 years.  Blake has never been able to take a bath.  Blake loves to play with his friends but he gets sad because he can't run and play like they do.  He is scared about getting another transplant. For being only 8 years old he has been through a lot more then I have. To be that young and have so many worries saddens me.

After reading all about Blake, I realized what I am going through doesn't even compared to what Blake it going through.  I have lived  my entire childhood and adulthood (until now) healthy.  The only limitations I had were the ones I created for myself.  I never gave it any thought when I took a bath or jumped in a pool or when I played tag with my friends.  I never gave it any thought when my kids did the same.  All the little things in life we take for granted not realizing how many people would love to have the chance.

I don't consider myself a person who feels sorry for himself.  I think I accepted my cancer and whatever lays ahead for me.  Of course, I hope and pray I can live to be a very grumpy old man.  But tonight, really opened my eyes.  I never realized how truly lucky I am.  I saw this brave boy who played games with his friends who looked healthy and happy.  Yet, this brave boy is much sicker than I am.  He never got to live the childhood I lived and who may not be able to live the adult life I am blessed with.  By looking at Blake you would never know what his life is like.  11 hours a day on a dialysis machine and now I feel foolish dreading the 4 hours every 2 weeks for an infusion treatments.  Plus, the take home pump I wear for the next 46 hours which I can not stand.  Now, I will be thinking about Blake and I bet Blake wishes he could have the same amount of treatment that I have in replace of what he is currently going through. When I think about I might not live to see 47 saddens me. I bet to Blake 46 seems old and if he has the chance to live to be 46 he would be so ever grateful,

 I will be praying that Blake Loudenber he will be able to receive a new kidney soon.  That he will some day be able to know what it is to live a normal life.  I pray that Blake lives a long full life even if it's only to be a 46 year old man. Tonight really put my life in perspective and made me a humble man once again.

My Update on Me

Just a little post to let everyone know I am doing well for the most part.  I am working a little less due to production at work has slowed down.  Right now I am on 8 hour shift and I have the weekends off.  Which is nice but a little worried since the overtime will not be there.


Health wise I am good.  Except, for stomach pains I have been experiencing.  The pains are hard to explain.  Sort of feels like the gas pains I had experienced after the surgeries but not quite as severe.  It worries me that the cancer may have spread. My chemo meds has changed so it could be do to that as well.  I mentioned it today at chemo.  Dr. Mboama thinks it's because of the chemo and told me to take GasX.  However, he must have some concerns because he wants me to go for a CT-scan A.S.A.P.  So, tomorrow at 2:30 I will be having one done. The ct will also show if the SIRT procedure I had done in March worked. Now the fun of waiting for the results begin.  The waiting is so cruel.


Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts.  I so desperately need a good CT reading or I am doomed. 


God Bless and Take Care
Bill