Bad bad wife

Today, I had an infusion treatment. It's been a month since my last treatment and over 2 months since I had the chemo pump to wear at home. I was afraid this treatment would be hard on me. I left the clinic just 2 hours ago and I am already starting to feel some side effects. My chest feels very heavy and I am extremely tired. I figured I will write tonight because I am not sure how I will be feeling tomorrow. Plus I have something fresh on my mind I would like to share. My supposedly loving and adoring wife abandoned me at chemo today. She chose our 7 year old son over me. I sat there alone and waited and waited for her to show. She said she was going to do a little shopping at Target which is next door. I thought maybe she would be gone an hour at the very most. Unfortunately for me, one hour turned into two and two turned into three. I sat there sad and lonely, wondering if she would ever return, realizing now that I may be an orphan. I was left there to sit there and ponder how will I get home if she didn't pick me up. Plus, I was wondering how could she choose Zachary over her handsome, sexy, hardworking, compassionate, understanding, sexy, devoted, sexy and ect, ect.............. husband. She did manage to call me and tell me Zachary had called her (by the way he has memorized mine, Sally's and Michael's cell phone numbers) crying because he missed her. So she left to be with him.When ever I call her sobbing saying how I need her and miss her, all I ever get is get over it. I was almost in tears and had nurse Angela almost in tears telling her how sad and lonely I was. I work hard to bring home a pay check so Sally can go out to lunch with her friends, eat chocolate bon-bons, read romance novels( she isn't even a book reader), relax at the spa, take long bubble baths( even though she doesn't like baths she prefers showers), and lives a life of a queen in a cardboard box for a house), And how does she reward me? She ditches me. My eyes and nose are red and swollen for the river of tears that are streaming down my face( not from the booze that I have been sneaking-please don't tell my devoted compassionate and loving until today wife). But yet, I know she has everyone fooled and no one is going to believe how terrible she is to me. Please keep this quiet, I don't want to get locked up any more.

Enough about my pathetic life and being second class to my wife. I think everyone enjoys the stories about our kids better. The other day we were talking and Sally mentioned she hated her name because it's old fashion and very few people in her age group have her name. She told Zachary that is why we gave him a cool name. Zach said he didn't like his name(" Oh hell no", I said to myself). Sally asked him what he wished his name would be. Zach replied "Big Belly Button". He honestly said this and I don't know why. The next day I addressed Zach as Big Belly Button and he got mad at me. This happened about a week ago or so. I would every once in awhile address him as big Belly Button. So today Zach was playing with some of his Christmas presents that he got. A Star Wars light sabre and a Star wars gun that he got from our family friends Ron and Lynn. Zach was twirling his Sabre and shooting his gun. He was really getting into it. I had to say "Hey,Big Belly Button tone it down a little bit, you might break something". He came to me and said that he was "Master Zach" and preceded to clock me in the melon with his light sabre(he didn't hit me hard)." Why did you do that"? "Cause I am Master Zach. I'm going to have to remember that so I don't get beat up any more.

Kaity keeps getting cuter and cuter. Just when I think she can't get any cuter she does. We no longer help Kaity with her showers.Most kids her age and a little older will play in the shower. She takes her shower time quite seriously. In fact she cleans herself better then we would. She cleans herself better then I clean myself. She scrubs every nook and cranny of her body even the bottom of her feet and under arms. She is so clean we could serve our food on her instead of our fine china (she is probably cleaner then our fine china, if we had fine China).
Sally and I took her and her baby doll out for lunch today. We usually go out for lunch or breakfast depending on my appointment time. She kept asking me "Do you like it?" after each bite I had. Remember how Kaity pulled grandma's baby lashes out? Well..... Sally was in the shower and when she came out Kaity was sitting in the living room on the floor with her doll. She had scissors in her hand. Sally looked down and there was clumps of hair on the carpet. Sally said "Kaity no! That is naughty!" Sally grabbed the doll to see how much damage was done. The doll was from Santa and Santa (Sally) spent hours researching dolls to make sure she gets the "right" one. Sally is more attached to the dolls then Kaity is. I would not be surprised if I found out she played with the dolls when no one is looking. Sally realized the doll's hair was fine which meant one thing. It was Kaity's hair. Kaity was crying and crying. She buried her head into Sally and then she ran to her crib and wanted to take a nap. I was working midnights but I woke up to Kaity's pathetic cry. Before she climbed in the crib she cuddled up to me and sobbed. During this time Sally was trying to examine the damage. Every time Sally would touch Kaity's hair she would get a clump of hair. Kaity finally had enough of Sally touching her hair and talking about it she pushed Sally away, climbed into her crib, buried her face with a blanket and cried herself to sleep. She did cut a bunch of hair but she did it in such away, it's unnoticeable to everyone else except for her mother who still makes comments every time she combs her hair .

I work this weekend. Sally and I have tickets to see "Noises Off "at the preforming Arts Center in Munster on Saturday night. Take Care and God Bless you all. I want to say thanks for all the words of encouragement from the friends and family that have been there and my new Facebook friends and the ones that I have reconnected with from past friendships and the good old high school days at Bishop Noll.

Sorry that there hasn't been any pictures posted as of late. Sally is having trouble with her computer. Hopefully it will be fixed soon.

I am 45 years old now and proud of it!

It's funny how a little word like cancer can have such a huge impact on how you perceive life. When I turned 30, I thought I was old. When I turned 40, I was like I'm going to die soon( how little did I know how true that almost could have been). I didn't think I would live to be 40 honestly because I was sort of the wild child in my earlier days.I liked to go out with the boys.Hey,wait a minute the ladies too. Lets not forget about the ladies. I often look back and can't believe how I survived my stupidity at times. 40 seemed to be old and I felt life was down hill after that. Then I was diagnosed with the dreaded cancer. For sure 40's suck. But now I am glad to celebrate another birthday. I am looking forward to turning 50 and the 60's and even the 70's don't look so bad seeing how well my mom and mother in law are doing. Not to forget how I would like to be around to see how my kids turn out and I how I did as a parent raising them. Although I do have soon not so good news for Zach , that I willmention in a later blog. So hold on to your hats or ear muffs or whatever you have on your head.

My birthday always brings a lot of memories. Good and bad but I welcome them both. The good times reminds me on how lucky I am. The bad memories are just learning lessons that make me even more grateful for the good times. When I was young and foolish I got married on my birthday. I will never recommend to anyone on getting married on their birthday. The marriage was short lived and she was out by my next birthday( it was all her). I actually proposed to Sally the day before my birthday. It wasn't that I was trying to create new memories to wipe out my failed marriage. My birthday is 3 days before Valentine's Day which is the time everyone expects to be proposed to. Sally and I rarely talked about marriage. I did propose to her a month after we started dating but she just laughed at me, but I was serious. We were dating for over a year so I figured she might be expecting a ring on Valentines Day and I wanted to really surprise her. I put an add in the Times news paper and ask her and Micheal if they would marry me.I was hoping she would read it with me( my brother Mike did the same thing, that's how original I am). Instead someone at her work saw it and cut it out and put it on the time clock so she knew before I had a chance to get on one knee and show her the paper. I was the one with the surprise. Thank God, I was able to spare my knee.

Last year on my birthday was hard for me. I was given my dreaded diagnoses and prognoses a week before my birthday. Plus I was in a lot of pain from just being cut opened. I wondered if being 44 would be it for me. I must admit though I did get better gifts last year. I even had a cake plus cup cakes. Did I ever mention that I like cake.

This year my birthday was peaceful. Michael treated me to breakfast at Round the Clock. I had an omelete that was as big as a small island.I couldn't finish it. As I was eating it there was a lady watching me. I was thinking that I still have it, if I ever had it. This was going on for a while. I thought that she was admirring the masterpiece on my plate or the handsome chap eating the masterpiece. Before Michael and I left, I went in the restroom to clean my hands. I was in front of the mirror rinsing my hands when I noticed a catsup spot on my shirt( I like to mix catsup with my eggs). Now at that point I think I know what the lady was looking at. I went home to never be seen again ay least not there for a while. I later had to go to my mother in law's and shoveled her neighbors sidewalk, waering a ski as not to be reconized. When I finished I went home and took a nap. Sally and I later that night went to see "The Blind Side" followed by dinner at Giovonni's. They have the best spaghetti I have ever eaten. While we were waiting to order an older couple was seated at a table near us. They caught are attention because of the way they presented themselves they looked well to do and the fact they were pickering with each other. It kinda reminded me of ummmm, me and Sally,minus the well to do part. After hearing the waitress talk to them we realized the woman was Jewell Cadet who owns Rogers & Hollands jewelry stores.( Rogers and Hollands jewelry creations for now and forever) After dinner we went home and I had my cake and ice cream. Most people look forward to presents on their birthday for me it's the cake and ice cream part. Sally made a banana cake with chocolate cream cheese frosting. She served it with my favorite rock road ice cream. It was delicious.

God Bless you all and hope you liked this weeks blog. Next posting will be Thursday or Friday. Thank you for visiting.

Happy 45th Birthday Bill!

Bill, Wishing you a great year and many many more Birthdays. We love you!

Hide your dolls!!!

I promised I had a good story about Kaity last time. Well... Sally's mom had to watch Kaity back to back a couple of weeks ago. The first day she was there, Mary let Kaity play with one of her "special" baby dolls. She left the doll out for Kaity to play with the next day. Kaity was in the front room playing with the babies. She was very quiet so Mary thought it was a good idea to check on her( when a child is to quiet, it is time to investigate and hope it isn't to late). Kaity was on the couch with her back turned to Mary. When she saw Mary, Kaity bent over tried to cover up her wonderful handy work. Which was removing one by one all of the baby's eye lashes. Of course she couldn't do it to her much less expensive doll, she had to wait for Grandma's costly baby. Grandma of course was shocked to see and yelled a little. Kaity was heart broken. How could grandma yell at me, I am the cute one? She sat there with her head buried in the couch and sobbed. Silly Grandma felt bad and tried to bribe Kaity with candy, which didn't work. Grandma sat on the other end of the couch crying as well. Finally, Kaity realized the TV was on and turned her attention to the TV. She slowly started to be back to normal. Three days later, Kaity had to go to Grandma's again to be watched. Usually she loves to go there and doesn't want to go home. This time she said "Nooooooo!" "Grandma mean". Then she said baby and pointed to her eyes. Sally and I couldn't help but laugh at her. On the way there Sally told her to be good or she was going to pull out Kaity's eye lashes if she wasn't good. Kaity started to cry and covered her eyes. Now she will laugh when we mention it but she was scarred for a couple of days. We have to find a doll hospital so we can get Mary's doll repaired.

Right now our computer is on the fritz. Kaity turned the electrical strip off for the computer. Ever since, the computer is not running right. When we get the computer fixed I am hoping we can post a sound clip from Zachary's DSI. Zachary was recording and wanted to record Kaity. He kept telling his little sis to "say something" and then she would respond "say something". He would say," no Kaity Say something", again Kaity would respond," say something".After about ten minutes he started to get frustrated and moved on to making more weird recordings of himself and left Kaity out of it.

As for me, I am doing the same since last time which is good. I had the weekend off. I spent much of yesterday cleaning up around the house. Sally and two of her sisters went to a home party. Afterwards, they were going to have a couple of drinks. Sally told me that I should come meet them at the bar, so I could "pick her up". I get to the bar and she isn't there. I was standing there waiting and waiting. Finally, one of her sisters , Stacie came in and "picked" me up instead. After the first drink the sisters decided it was time to switch bars. So we went down the street. It's amazing what is revealed by 3 sisters who had a couple of drinks. I thought I knew everything about Sally and I was wrong. Some info I could have lived without.

Tonight, Zachary and I watched the Super Bowl. I had a feeling the Saints would win. It didn't matter to me either way which team won. I felt both teams were deserving to win. Sally made home made pizza and tempura vegetables for us. Even though she isn't a sports fan she wanted to make tonight special since last year I was in the hospital during the Super Bowl recovering from colon surgery.

Happy Anniversary

Just a little update to prove that I am still here. I have been working a lot because of the project that I was in last week and I worked the weekend because it was my weekend to work. I also picked up a shift last night, other wise I would have had only a 36 hour pay check. I go back to working in the morning and I am looking forward to having the weekend off.

We haven't heard any news about the kids and their blood work. We should have heard by now if something were wrong. Kaity was whimpering through out the night Sally had said. When I got home this morning she was crying because her leg and hand were hurting her. She isn't due to go back to see the doctor until her 3 year old check up in April but not sure if we want to wait that long. I will talk with the doctor about her when I go see him.

This morning I had an appointment with the oncologist. Sally usually goes with me but stayed home this time because Kaity was in pain. I went to register and found out my appointment was at 1:30 and not at 9:30 which I had thought wooops.I worked midnights and thought that I scheduled it earlier. Luckily for me, they squeezed me in. In the mean time I fell asleep in the waiting room. I woke up to a crowd of people hovering around me and drool running down my face, wooops again. The doctor is letting me skip treatment on my Birthday so I will have a month off. I am hoping to get into see the dentist during the time I have off. I couldn't get a cleaning last time because of the chemo treatment. Who would have thought?

Last week when I went in for an infusion, Sally dropped me off because she had Zachary with her. She and Zachary went to Target which is almost next door to the clinic. I asked Sally to bring me back a drink when she came back. Sally decided to drop off the drink before she took Zachary back home. Zachary has always asked if he could go to chemo with me. We had to explain he isn't allowed in the room because he is under 16. Sally took him with but told him he had to stay in the door way and he could peek in. As soon as he peeked in I hear nurse Stacey laugh and say " Little Bill!hahahahahahahahah". "Little Bill, hahahahahahahahahaha". I think Zachary was a little embarrassed because he hid his little face in my chest. At least he got to see where I go for treatments and that it wasn't scary.

Sitting during chemo sometimes gets boring. I am either with a group that likes to talk which makes it go so much faster or I am with a group that mostly sleeps. Those times I dread. It seems like the 4 hours are more like 8 hours. The nurses talk to me which helps but they can't sit with me during the entire time. When Sally is there it's better but if I have chemo on a day my mother in law is working Sally isn't able to be there. A couple of weeks ago it was one of those days. Sally didn't have a sitter for Kaity. Everyone that was receiving treatment was sleeping and I was bored out of mind. What does one do in this case? Well, I decided to provide my own entertainment on nurse Angelia's expense. The pumps have alarms on it to let the nurses know when the IV's are empty. When the alarm goes off the nurses drop what they are doing to see who's went off and to start the next unit of treatment. Me being my clever self, tried mimicking the alarm. Every so often I would make the alarm noise. Angela would stop what she was doing and tried to find out who's pump it was. Of course she couldn't find the unit but every time I made the noise she ran to look. It was hilarious. It was hard to sit there with a poker face. I knew even if I let out a slight grin she would catch on and my entertainment would be over. As soon as I walked out of there, I had to release my laughter. I finally had to tell Sally what had happened so she could understand the reason for laughter and not misconstrued it for me going mad. She is such a party pooper though. Even though she shared in the laughter with me, she confessed to the nurses of my dirty little secret. So I am going to have to find another way to entertain myself when Sally isn't there.

As I am writing this, I just realized that last week was my one year anniversary of the colon surgery and being diagnosed with cancer. Honestly, I didn't imagine life resembling it to be what is now. Meaning I figured in a year I would either be dead or very sick and bald. Well, before anyone comments on the bald part I was loosing my hair before I was sick but I am still not bald. Being close does not count. Not sure what it's going to be like a year from now, so in the mean time I will just enjoy my life for what I have and for what it is.

Thank you for visiting and God bless.
Stay tuned for my next blog. I have a story about Kaity and her special day with Grandma, or was it a special day.

Quick Family Update (medical)

Bill wanted me to give a brief update about today's events. As some may know, Kaity has been having leg pains which have traveled to her feet and arms. I took her into the doctor a couple of weeks ago and X-rays and blood work was ordered. This morning both Kaity and Zachary had a doctor's appointment. In Kaity's X-rays it showed some indication of lead. We do live in an older house with a flaky kitchen ceiling , which could contribute to it. It doesn't mean she has lead poisoning either. Also, with the blood work she tested positive for Lupus. It doesn't mean she has it either. The doctor thinks she may have a form of arthritis. Needless to say both kids had to have blood work done. Zachary was very scared. started crying in the waiting room. He didn't run out of the building though this time and he did good. Kaity was fine until she saw the chair and she started crying. She did good too. She didn't try to move and I was told that crying is good because it makes the blood move faster. They were both mad at me when I tore off their bandages when they weren't looking. Zachary started to have a reaction and Kaity had one last time so I thought the best thing was to take it off when they weren't expecting it. I am glad my mom went with us. She made it so much easier on me. Afterwards, I rewarded them with lunch and I promised Zachary I would take him to the store to buy him something if he was good.

After that, Bill had his weekly infusion. He slept during a good portion of it but we did have some good conversation with two other patients. Bill is going to skip treatment next week but has an appointment to see the oncologist. He is going to go back to wearing the pump, so the treatments will be every other week again. The nurses suggested he skips treatment on his birthday(which he deserves because last year he had the colon dissection surgery right before his birthday and wasn't feeling that great). Which means he will have another month off chemo. Not sure if the doctor will go for this but I will keep my fingers cross.

Bill is working through this weekend so hopefully at the beginning of next week he will think of some good stories to share.

Zack, Why Why!

Welcome back! I am back on the 12 hour shift starting this weekend. I am involved in a special project this week which means I am on days plus I get breakfast, free snacks, and lunch. I am feeling well. Not digging going in every week for treatments but I do feel better this way. Tonight, I am trying to decide if I want to go back to the pump when I go Thursday or not. I really really despise the pump. Going every week is a pain as well. It will be more difficult to go every week with the 12 hour shifts. I worked 6 days last week and now I am working 9 days in a row. Only half of the days I am working are 12 hours the other 4 days are 8s.

Now for my family life. It's amazing and/or scary (not sure which one) how I am never short of material about my family. Remember last week how I said Zachary told Michael that he smelled like a dead fish? Now Michael is saying his car smells like rotten fish. I couldn't help but laugh when I heard it. Sally told him at least people know when he is near.

Sally was telling me that Kaity is now hitting with a closed fist. Not that we condone violence, but I do want my children to defend themselves. Which is the reason we got into an argument. I was like good for Kaity, she is learning to defend herself. If she is going to hit then she should make it count, go for the jewels I would say. Sally said that hitting with a close fist is wrong and that she should not be taught to hurt others but hitting with an open hand is OK at times. Sally and I bickered back and forth for over an hour. We never came to an agreement( I am right though).

Last weekend after I finished my blog, I gave Zachary a choice of things to do with me. Sally was helping with suggestions and mentioned ice cream. I just gave her the look. I knew right then and there what was about to erupt. The next thing we hear is a little voice saying "Ice keam! Ice keam!" Sally crushed her heart by telling her that I will take her the next day. She cried and cried. So I came up with a brilliant plan and took the kids to McDonalds for sundae's ( only a dollar) So I bought 8 and got the kids theirs. After wards, I dropped her off at home and she was happy and I took Zachary to the destination of his choice which was Chuck E Cheeses. The first thing he wanted to do was play the basketball game. The very first throw he managed to have the basketball hit a lady in the head. After it hit her the ball went straight in the air. I caught the ball over the lady's head before it hit her again. I looked at Zachary and said "Nice shot Zach!" and then my first thoughts were "Oh crap! what did I just say?" I was expecting a mean glare at the very least and some choice words to be flying my way around with a hand, but the lady acted like nothing ever happened and kept playing her game. That even scared me some more( you know when a women acts like nothing is wrong, there is something wrong and your in it deep poop). So obviously I still didn't feel safe. I kept looking out of the corner of my eye waiting for some buff wrestling dude to come up to me to defend his woman. I was relieved when we got into our car and drove away. I had a vision of the "Ikea" commercial as I opening the door to the car "Start the car! Start the Car", but there was nobody in the car to start it for me, "Oh crap!" I thought. "Did make a clean get away?." As Zachary was in the back saying "Whoooooooo!" Every time a car was next to me and the person would look at me, I would look over and yell " What are you looking at?", and speed a way in my fast looking Impala( teach them to stare at me). This past Sunday, my nephew had his birthday party at Chuck E Cheeses. Zachary again ran up to the basketball game and I held my breath the entire time. I kept trying to redirect him towards a different game but he insisted he needed to practice. I told him that this wasn't the time or place to practice, but not before he ran into a little boy and knocked his cup of tokens on the floor. "No way, this can't be happening to me" I thought. Oh, I just knew some lady is going to jump on me on me now, and hit me with a closed fist. Kaity, Daddy was just kidding, open fist open fist. Luckily, that didn't happen. I picked up the little trouble maker and said be more careful as I scoped the area out. I sent him on his way with a little smack on the back of his head.

I have this fascination with watching bobsledding. Not sure why but lucky me it's on TV tonight. So I am going to cut this short (which I am sure some are relieved) so I can watch it and give Sally her computer back. Even though she is in denial she is addicted to her imaginary mob or are they.Thank you and God Bless.

Checking in

Just checking in again. Last week was a busy week. I had chemo on Monday. It didn't go as I planned. The chemo sessions are still the same amount of time. Now with the infusion I go every week and have to have blood work done weekly as well. It is nice not wearing the pump though. I felt much better to. I didn't have to take anything for nausea this time. Besides chemo, I worked 2 doubles and an extra day. Sally wasn't very happy but I felt like I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't want to let my work down and I always feel like I have to prove that I can handle my job. Plus, we can always use a larger pay check. I felt fine except for being tired on the double shifts. I think anyone would if they only had 8 hours before their next shift.
Starting next week I am going to be on 12 hour shifts again unless it changes again. Eventually, I will go back to the chemo pump I think.

Kaity needed to have some test done because of her legs pains. Since I had to work a lot last week, Sally had to take her. My mother in law went with them. I was relieved I didn't have to go with. I had a hard time when I went with Zachary for his shots and another time when he had to have blood drawn. It breaks my heart. I know as of dad I am suppose to be strong but stuff like that I am a wuss. Anyways, I like when Sally is the bad one taking the kids to be tortured then I can comfort them when they get home and tell them their mom is a big meanie. Kaity though, was fine when she was done. They bribed her with stickers, a lollipop, a stuffed monkey, and pancakes.Which makes me wonder why I don't get those things when I go for my blood work. I would be happy with just a candy bar. Kaity still has her bandage on from one of her pokes. Sally said she is leaving that for me to pull off. I was hoping by the 3rd day it would fall off but nope. I think it's glued on and I don't see a problem with it being on her. If it doesn't bother her being on then I think we should just leave it.

It wouldn't be a Bill Ceiga blog if I didn't write something I felt was funny about my family. So here it is. On the way to mass last week all three of the kids were in the back seat. Zachary said that Michael had bad breath. Michael said he didn't and told Zachary to "shut up". Sally said "no Michael you do", and said that Michael has a unique smell in the morning. Zachary had to add "yeah! like a dead fish". I think it was the first time in history Michael was lost for words. He just walked a head of us in to church with his head hanging low. I don't condone my kids being mean to each other. However, with Michael and Zachary being 11 years apart, Michael is the one that is usually tormenting and saying mean things to Zachary. Zachary being much younger is the one who is left heart broken and in pain. It was just a classic moment to see Zachary in his glory and for once getting his brother back. It is also funny because a few years ago when Michael had braces, Sally and I found the most perfect ornament that reminded us of Michael. It was a fish ornament that had a huge smile wearing braces. How ironic now.

Since I didn't get to see the kids very much I would try to call them on my breaks. Thursday I called when Zachary got home from school. He was very sad and told me he had a bad day. I was expecting him to be happy because he had Friday off and is going to have tomorrow (Monday) off as well. I asked my pumpkin why is he so sad. He said "I got homework and it's not fair. I never get homework for the weekend". I later found it was 2 math sheets that will take him less them 10 minutes to finish.

Last Sunday we had a birthday party to go to for my two God Children. When it was time for the cake, My mother in law was passing out the incredible edibles. She was going person to person with a smile on her face. When she was all done, I noticed red toe prints all over the floor throughout the kitchen and living room area. I knew right away who it came from. I just started laughing and telling everyone, except the person who made the tracks about the prints. I didn't want to embarrass my Mother in law Mary, so I just did the mature thing and laughed about it for awhile. Finally , my sister in law Sandy told my mother in law to look under her socks and sure enough there it was, a big red blotch. I guess she felt she needed to leave tracks throughout the house so she wouldn't get lost finding her way back to the kitchen.

I slept in today. It felt good. We will go to the evening mass tonight. I decided to write the blog early so I can spend the rest of the day with my family. I am going to do something with Zachary. Not sure what but I am sure if I ask him he can give me lots of ideas what to do with him. Kaity is trying to help me write this so I think that is my clue to get off the computer. Hope everyone has a good week.

Now for the next round!

I see Sally told everyone what was going on. I worked 6 days last week so I didn't have much time to write the blog. Tomorrow, I go back in for chemo. As of this moment I think I am going to try the weekly treatments but if it becomes to much of a pain I will go back to the pump. I might change my mind when I get there tomorrow. Talk about being shocked. I expected the worse, that the cancer came back but I never expected to hear at least another year of chemo. Usually, it is Sally who is the one that is nervous about the test results. This time she was really calm (unless she is learning to hide it well) and I was the one who was a basket case. I was planning on taking Sally out this weekend to celebrate being cancer free (if that was the case) but the 12 more months of chemo doesn't have me doing the happy dance.

When I am home I usually run all the errands with Sally and kids in tole. Usually we end up doing most of the grocery shopping at Meijer( Strack and Van Tils is still the official Grocery Store of Bill's Life with Cancer Blog). The last couple of times I had been stopping in the isles making notes in my handy dandy little note book. Usually, it's one of the kids making a scene or causing embarrassment. However, this particular day it was not the kids, it wasn't even me, it was my wife. My wife always tells the kids to be quiet and not to make comments when out in front of people. She usually nudges me when I slip on a rare occasion but I have to admit sometimes it's hard to keep quiet when I find someone amusing or annoying. We were walking in the freezer section and I heard a "eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww". It didn't come from my kids but from Sally. Some reason when there is a fowl odor in the air I am the one always blamed. This time it wasn't me. I saw a couple on the side of me looking at some frozen food items. After Sally made her RUDE very loud comment the lady looked at the man she was with and said something. The next thing I see is them scurrying off. I almost fell to my knees with laughter. Sally usually doesn't insert shoe into her mouth, but this time I think she got a whole boot with wool socks.

A couple of days later we were at Meijer again. This time we only had Kaity. We were Christmas shopping in the toy section. I had the honors of watching Kaity while Sally was looking. Kaity ran up to Sally and had something in her mouth. I knew what it was. It was a gumball. I didn't know where she got it from and I tried to get out of her mouth but there was no way I was going to let her bite me. Anyways, germs are needed to build up her immune system. Sally grabbed Kaity and took the gumball out of her mouth. I was wondering what had more germs the gumball or Sally's fingers. Sally walked away to do more shopping. Kaity was left gum less and a little upset. Then again she went down a toy isle and I just watched her do her thing. She went up to a gum ball machine and there was a package of gum ball opened next to it. So she helped herself to another gum ball. I was proud of her for being self sufficient. After she got her gum in her mouth she was on the quest to find her mom. I think she wanted to prove to Sally that she is going to have that gum one way or another. We started walking towards Sally and about a mile away Sally spotted that Kaity had something in her mouth. Sally ran towards Kaity to save her from the germs in her mouth with her germie fingers. I saved the day and pinned Sally down to tell her that it was perfectly safe since it wasn't on the floor. Then Sally started lecturing Kaity and I that it was stealing and told us we were going to jail.

This morning we went to mass. Kaity is turning into the diva. I helped her get dressed for church. I put her Christmas dress on her and she kept saying "thank you". Then I caught her in the mirror staring at herself while she was putting lip gloss on. She walked into church wearing her silver shoes, a purple flower in her hair, a pearl neckless and bracelet, and a white furry coat. Miss Hollywood she looked like. As soon as we walked in the doors she started saying "Hello" to everyone. We walked in the church which was very quiet and there was Miss Hollywood continuing to say "Hello!" to everyone. Usually she will take off her coat but not today. She had to keep that big fluffy coat on (Thanks Deb). It made it difficult for Sally to hold her during mass. I was lucky because Kaity didn't want to burden me with the extra weight and bulk.

Have a good week everyone. I am off to my two god children's birthday party this afternoon.

Prayer requests and update on Bill

This is Sally. Bill is in bed sleeping since he is working the midnight shift tonight. I would first like to ask for some prayers. Since we have been so blessed with prayers I would like to see others blessed as well. The first person is Gerry. Gerry was just diagnosed with colon cancer. The tumor was so large the colonoscopy couldn't not be completed just like Bill's. Not sure when the surgery will be but prayers are much needed.

The second person is for Lynn's dad. Lynn is a friend of Deb who is one of Bill's devoted blog follower and our good friend. He was recently diagnosed with cancer in his lymph node and lung. He will be having surgery in the near future.

The third prayer request is for a friend. Just like when it seems it can't get any worse for her it does. She is in a lot of pain and has no medical coverage. Plus she is in financial hardship.

As for Bill, well I am happy and he is not. The CT scan and PET scan came out clean. He is still in remission. Thank God. However, there has been some misunderstanding and Bill was caught off guard today. I think one of the hardest jobs in the world is to be an oncologist, even just to work in that department would be difficult. His doctor is very upbeat which I know it's very important in the recovery process. However, his doctor paints a rosier picture and doesn't tell the entire story. I understand the reasoning for it. If he were to tell Bill from day one that he would have at least 3 years of therapy I think Bill would would have given up. It would sound hopeless. Telling Bill he had 12 rounds and then later options will be discussed sounds a lot better.

Bill had the 18 rounds and today the "options" were discussed but not to Bill's liking. Which I don't blame him. At least he has choices (sort of). The first choice is to do nothing. Usually that is what a lot of older people do but for Bill, it's not recommended. The second option is just to have the Avastin therapy. This also is not an aggressive treatment plan and is not recommended for Bill. The other choice he has is to do Avastin and 5-FU which is recommended to help prevent the cancer from coming back. The 5-FU is given to him during the treatment plus he has it in a pump in which he wears for 46 hours. Bill hates wearing the pump and was so looking forward to no more pump. The though about having to wear the pump was not good news to him. The other thing is that 5-FU can be infused to him on a weekly basis. This way there will be no pump. On the other hand though, the effectiveness of this way is not known. The doctors' believe the pump is more effective but there is no data to support it either way. We were also lead to believe treatment would be for another 3 months but was told today it is recommended for another year. After the year and if he is still in remission then he will just have to have the Avastin therapy.

So even though the results were good it was still a gloomy day for Bill. Plus, he had only 3 hours of sleep. It was a lot of information to digest all at once. I want the best possible out come for him but the choice is his. I do not have to walk around with a pump connected to me so I don't know what he is going through. I do know it is cumbersome for him and that it gets in his way when he is at work. The doctor and I both suggested to him to think about it. So he didn't have chemo today but rescheduled it for Monday. On the way home we stopped at one of his favorite places and he had a plate of spaghetti. We talked about his options. As of now I think he is deciding on the weekly infusion treatments and not the pump. When his department at work goes back to the 12 hour shifts he will go back to the pump because then he can plan the treatments so he won't have to wear the pump at work.

Almost a year ago he was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. It didn't seem possible to get where we are at now. But by the grace of God, prayers and support of family, friends, and strangers he had came a long way. Maybe, it's not what Bill has hoped for but he will be fine after a good night sleep. He is a very lucky man.