A huge blow

Bill had a routine CT scan done on Monday. This time we were not nervous about the results. As long as he is on chemo, we knew everything was going to be OK. At the very worse, the tumors were not shrinking as quickly as we would like. It was a change from the last time. The last time, I received a phone call 3 days prior to his chemo treatment saying the doctor needed to talk to us about the CT results. Of course, they wouldn’t say about what. So for three days we worried. I tried not telling Bill about the call but I couldn't stop crying and I was worrying him. Not knowing and worrying about the results is dreadful. Especially, when you know the results are bad and you are in the doctor’s office waiting for a long time for the doctor to walk through the door. The anticipation is unbearable and the worst case of scenario goes running through your mind. Hearing the “bad” news has been easier to handle then the waiting for the results.

This morning I woke up thinking positive thoughts. Bill was scheduled for chemo and had an appointment to see the oncologist. Bill was at work and I was just about to get ready and the phone ring. It was the nurse asking where Bill had his surgeries at. Of course she said she didn’t know anything but I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I tried to act like nothing was wrong when I saw Bill. He went to have the infusion first. The nurse started the IV and the doctor walked into the room and said he needed to talk to us and told the nurse to stop treatment. My stomach fell and I could tell Bill was very concerned. Chewing on his nails is always a given sign when he is upset or worried.

We were moved to an office and didn’t have to wait long for Doctor Mboama. As soon as he walked through the door and by the look of his face we knew it was bad. We just didn’t realize at that point how bad it was. He said that the 2 tumors in the liver had grown. Then the nurse came in the room and told the doctor he had a phone call. He stepped out and left us hanging. Which I could tell he was relented to do but I knew the phone call must have been important. When he came back he told us the tumors have doubled in size and that there are 1 or 2 more additional tumors in the liver. The cancerous lymph node has grown as well and there are 2 more cancerous lymph nodes now.

Usually, the doctor will give us a couple of options to choose from. This time he did not. He said he knows that we have young children and he is going to act aggressive and as quickly as possible. First step is to have the tumor that was removed from the colon tested to see if the cells are genetically mutated or non-mutated. If it’s non-mutated there is a new chemotherapy drug that will be used. If it’s mutated the chances of him beating this is not as high. It takes about 2 weeks to get the results.

The second step will be going back to UIC and have the SIRT procedure to the liver. http://www.umgcc.org/sir-spheres/about_sirt.htm He will have this as soon as possible, since he has to be off chemo for a month. With the 2 weeks wait for the other test result, doctor thought this would be the best time to have it done.

The third step is to wait for the test results so a new chemotherapy regiment can begin. Obviously the chemo pills, Xeloda, did not work. So Bill will have to go back to 5-fu which means he will be wearing the portable pump again. Which of course Bill is not happy about. He didn’t complain about it and the doctor said it’s his only chance for survival. He was also told he will have more side effects. Basically, he was told he is going to be feeling like crap.

Right now, we are trying to absorb everything. It’s terrifying news but the doctor still remains optimistic and so are we. We will be praying for non-mutated cells and just try to live life the same way we did yesterday. Bill is amazing. I know he is scared and worried but he is trying so hard not show it. He and Kaity are at Omni while I am writing this. Which means he hasn’t given up and still determined more than ever to beat this.

Prayer requests and update on Bill

This is Sally. Bill is in bed sleeping since he is working the midnight shift tonight. I would first like to ask for some prayers. Since we have been so blessed with prayers I would like to see others blessed as well. The first person is Gerry. Gerry was just diagnosed with colon cancer. The tumor was so large the colonoscopy couldn't not be completed just like Bill's. Not sure when the surgery will be but prayers are much needed.

The second person is for Lynn's dad. Lynn is a friend of Deb who is one of Bill's devoted blog follower and our good friend. He was recently diagnosed with cancer in his lymph node and lung. He will be having surgery in the near future.

The third prayer request is for a friend. Just like when it seems it can't get any worse for her it does. She is in a lot of pain and has no medical coverage. Plus she is in financial hardship.

As for Bill, well I am happy and he is not. The CT scan and PET scan came out clean. He is still in remission. Thank God. However, there has been some misunderstanding and Bill was caught off guard today. I think one of the hardest jobs in the world is to be an oncologist, even just to work in that department would be difficult. His doctor is very upbeat which I know it's very important in the recovery process. However, his doctor paints a rosier picture and doesn't tell the entire story. I understand the reasoning for it. If he were to tell Bill from day one that he would have at least 3 years of therapy I think Bill would would have given up. It would sound hopeless. Telling Bill he had 12 rounds and then later options will be discussed sounds a lot better.

Bill had the 18 rounds and today the "options" were discussed but not to Bill's liking. Which I don't blame him. At least he has choices (sort of). The first choice is to do nothing. Usually that is what a lot of older people do but for Bill, it's not recommended. The second option is just to have the Avastin therapy. This also is not an aggressive treatment plan and is not recommended for Bill. The other choice he has is to do Avastin and 5-FU which is recommended to help prevent the cancer from coming back. The 5-FU is given to him during the treatment plus he has it in a pump in which he wears for 46 hours. Bill hates wearing the pump and was so looking forward to no more pump. The though about having to wear the pump was not good news to him. The other thing is that 5-FU can be infused to him on a weekly basis. This way there will be no pump. On the other hand though, the effectiveness of this way is not known. The doctors' believe the pump is more effective but there is no data to support it either way. We were also lead to believe treatment would be for another 3 months but was told today it is recommended for another year. After the year and if he is still in remission then he will just have to have the Avastin therapy.

So even though the results were good it was still a gloomy day for Bill. Plus, he had only 3 hours of sleep. It was a lot of information to digest all at once. I want the best possible out come for him but the choice is his. I do not have to walk around with a pump connected to me so I don't know what he is going through. I do know it is cumbersome for him and that it gets in his way when he is at work. The doctor and I both suggested to him to think about it. So he didn't have chemo today but rescheduled it for Monday. On the way home we stopped at one of his favorite places and he had a plate of spaghetti. We talked about his options. As of now I think he is deciding on the weekly infusion treatments and not the pump. When his department at work goes back to the 12 hour shifts he will go back to the pump because then he can plan the treatments so he won't have to wear the pump at work.

Almost a year ago he was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. It didn't seem possible to get where we are at now. But by the grace of God, prayers and support of family, friends, and strangers he had came a long way. Maybe, it's not what Bill has hoped for but he will be fine after a good night sleep. He is a very lucky man.